fairyland

Announcement!

2011-01-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

Attention people! *as if people really read -_____-!*

I've shifted! No longer updating here.

Clickies! http://mylilthoughts-natalie.blogspot.com/

new house! LOL

stay tune for more updates over there!

take care!

Nat

xoxo

helllloooo freeedoomm!

2010-12-30T03:36:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M SOOOOOOOOO HAPPYYYYY!

HELLO HOLIDAY! ;D

and.....

HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAVE A GREAT 2011!

Time pass real fast, can't believe it's 1st of Jan 2011!

are you ready for a brand new year? =D

Well, people, just throw away your sorrow, keep the happiness! Get a new life in 2011!

May health and wealth be with you! =D

Have a great one!

goodbye 2010! ;) shoo away from me!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2010-12-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

HO! HO! HO!
First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Two more days, exactly two more days to finals. I'M SLACKING!

Shouldn't be here though, but i'm not in a good mood, i need someone to talk with, but who?

I feel like crying. Looking at the mountain of notes! D;

The toughest Financial Management still doesn't want to treat me good! Not even a lil bit better.

Who can i talk to now?

This is the first Christmas that i hate! The first time ever in my life, i wanted to cry on Christmas!

In my previous Christmas that i've gone through, it was all filled with laughter, never sadness.

I want it to be like last year's Christmas!

I always thought Santa is with me, but this year, he's not. Did i just pissed him off and he ran away from me? D;

Uncle Santa, please come back to me, i don't need any present this year, but just cheer me up okay? please.

I wish i could turn back the time!

This make me sick, make me feel like i'm living in the dark. D;

work hard for it

2010-12-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

2 weeks to finals! count down!

I haven't prepare yet! Like, i didnt even touch the notes! i'm so dead now! fml

Realizing there are so many peoples supporting me, i told myself, i can never disappoint them!

So, here is the deal that i made!

BAR MYSELF FROM THE INTERNET FOR 2 WEEKS! Will only check my mails and twitter an hour before i sleep!

Hope i can do it!

Thanks people who support me! =) feel so touched!

i'll never let you down

Be strong, be tough!

Strive! I can do it!

Will never disappoint you =)

in the middle of no where

2010-12-07T06:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, i'm in the middle of no where.

Did not sleep well for days, like i always say, insomnia is my best friend.

Found myself actually struggling with something, but not really know what's that all about.

Chatted with one of my friend that night..

"You're old enough to think about what you should do, and what you want in life.."

Kept thinking about it the whole night, if not mistaken, i slept at 4 or 5am that night. Really can't sleep. =X

Don't know why i can't get my head to study, finals are around the corner and i'm still relaxing to the max here. No doubt, i feel scare, afraid, and worry. Seriously, i am!

Wonder what's in my mind.

I know, i should go study now instead of blogging. And it's kind a shame to ask people to give you motivation to study. I know i know.

What if i fail again this time? Should i continue? Do i really belongs to this path? I doubt.

I'm seriously afraid. I don't want history to repeat again.

I'll leave if i can't go through. Coward enough?

update =)

2010-12-03T02:40:00.000-08:00

*dust dust dust* Inches of dust here. Time to sweep it away! =D

HELLO DECEMBER and BYE BYE NOVEMBER! =DD

time flies yo!

So, i'd ditched my blog for quite some time? It's because i'm too busy, and .... sometimes, just don't feel like giving it an update. D;

I've been so busy with all the tests and assignment, finally.. ALL ENDED! I'm so glad! but but but.. when i thought i can relax a lil bit, they (my uni) threw me another attack! FINAL EXAMINATION! );

Got to start studying already! I have another three weeks!

i'd just done my General Mathematic II test III that day, and... i screwed the paper! ); while my Computer Technology paper was Okay!

i was just too boring HEH!

This is what i did when i was doing revision for my maths, and i think this is also what makes me screwed up my paper. I WAS JUST WAY TOOO BORED! >=(

and and and... i just can't play with numbers. I LIKE ABC... heh!

I found out i actually ate alot in these few days, like that day, i had supper! I'M FEELING SUPER FAT NOW! HAIYOOOO....

Imma stop eating like a hungry ghost. O.O!

oh ya, i'm feeling jealous to my babes who are enjoying their holiday now! hmmph! when is my holiday? I WANT A LONG LONG HOLIDAY LA! YOR! :-X

Nevermind, it'll be my turn very soon, 'cause, my final will end in three days! YES! IT'S 3 DAYS! how awesome is that! but at the same time, STRESSFUL la! HA! Imma play til drop when it comes! ;] *evil smile*

*jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way....*

Christmas is just around the corner, just can't wait for that day to come! weee~

how i wish we have snow in Malaysia! *dreaming*

til then, ciao!

not well

2010-11-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

Something is so not right, but i don't know what's that thing, and of course it makes me sick. I'm so not in a good mood these few days.

Trying to figure out what's really happening. );

Well well, guess should make some changes in my mind.

Did i mention that i entered Management class few days ago? It was awesome! seriously can't wait for my turn! =D

few things that i've learnt from that 2 hours lesson.

---

------

Conscientious. I found this very useful to me. I mean, to me, it seriously suit me. It actually described as stubborn. It's like, stubborn, you know, you can do a lot of things with it. Can be defined as responsible. You stand on your own point of view which will never change regardless what other people say or do, or any sudden changes.

Self Efficacy. This is also known as personal ability, whether you can do this task or not. It's actually playing with your own mindset. You think you can do, then surely you can do it without fail.

Internal locus of control. Yeap, this is also playing with the mind. It defined as, people who think they are the one who control their life.

Have you ever think about it? Do you think that it's you, yourself who control your own life, or God already planned your life. Think about it, it's interesting.

I stand on my own view that we actually are the one who control our life. =) We work hard to achieve things that we want. If we don't work hard, that thing won't fall from the sky. Am i right?

Self monitoring. You know what it means, it's obvious. How you control yourself. It means that, your attitude change depend on different situation. You met different people, you'll have different personality. YES, IT'S TRUE!

(Of course, I'll try to show my best of me to people. Regardless who i met.)

I think it's a lil bit too long. But i just wanna post it out.

I'm gonna bare these in mind, apply it in my life. Make use of it, to make a better me. =)

I think the recent Natalie is sucks! HAHA! Whatever!

Ain't gonna care.

Learning. Going forward.

i'm gonna be the original me

frequent updates

2010-11-13T07:30:00.000-08:00

Realized that i update this bloggie quite often. HAHA! Good or bad? I don't know.

So, i had a great day again today! With her and her, of course! It'll definitely be a good day!

Was an outing for the three of us, Sook Yee,Jia Min and I. =) (sorry to my other babes for not inviting.)

Before Jia Min came, we enjoy our time! We go dating first, 'yi yan sai gai'. =D HAHA! It's a date! PAVILION!

we actually purposely go back to the toilet to capture this. LOL

i <3>

Snowflakes.

Japan combo, our favourite!

After Jia Min arrived, we head to Starhill. Before that, we actually met her up in Sungai Wang, and gave her a surprise.

retarded. LOL

this was taken in Starhill's Shock.

HEHE

Happy Birthday to you my dear!

Be Happy!

Good luck in everything! <3

We Three!

I miss high school! And i'm jealous to the two of them! 'cause they have long looooong holiday! What about me? SO NOT FAIR! );

GREAT DAY WITH GREAT PEOPLE!

memories are meant to be forever

so far.. so good =)

2010-11-12T03:54:00.000-08:00

Been abandoning this bloggie for quite some times i guess. =S

Was enjoying my own sweet time throughout the days!

let the picture do the talking =)

This was my outing with my lovely cousin! =D

Purpose was to buy dinner dress for the coming Saturday, ended up, not buying any dress for dinner but lots of casual tees. 9 Tees & 3 shorts! Imagine how much they spent :S

Lee Yeng, my elder cousin sister. =)

Lee Yee, my younger cousin sister.

Lee Yung, my youngest cousin sister.

here we go, me and the two of them! <3

---

This was on Saturday! The wedding dinner. It was a bad one, but we do enjoyed ourself over there! We just totally ignored the host (yea, sound so bad but they treat us even bad! ); ), we enjoy our own sweet time!

she's not ready. but i just love this pic! HAHA

Credit to the photographer! =P

my yeng jie jie

Nic is out of the pic. It's nice though =p

My two jie jie

them

them <3

Reach home, before removing the make up, we need more memories! =D so, here we go!

light effect! just nice! I DIDN'T DYE MY HAIR! =P

Great chats, heart to heart talk, lame jokes. ALL ARE AWESOME! They're great! They're love! mua...! =D

more to come more to come!

Family is what you and i need in life

awakening

2010-11-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

Been doing things so not right these days. No, i mean it's been a while. Shall change my life style to make me a better future.

It's so wrong, i know. So so wrong. That it shouldn't be in my routine. But why am i doing it with me, myself realizing something is really wrong? It became a habit of mine. A VERY BAD HABIT!

Live in fear, is so not fun. Worry-ness can sometimes kills. It's so not good.

Now, i should've start ruling my life. Get rid of that Bad Habit. Chase it outta my life. Make me a better future.

What's right, what's wrong, what can i do, what can't i do, what should i do, what i shouldn't do. I SHALL KNOW!

Let's get started with the changes.

Sun shines when the new life begins

Let's bet, Natalie Kock, whether you can do it. Don't be a failure for the rest of your life.

Chase it out of your life.

Starts the whole new journey.

BYE to the bad habit.

sun rise and shine when tomorrow begins

my weekend

2010-10-31T07:13:00.000-07:00

My weekend, one word to describe, AWESOME! =D

Photo speaks louder than words, hehe! let the photos do the talking.

Halloween! =) went to La RamBla pub/ bar. HAHA! can't differentiate between pub/bar. HAHA! i go there often yo! And this is their decoration for Halloween! Wee~ i missed the celebration actually, it was on Friday, and i went there on Saturday! Daddy told me, ppl over there dressed up really like Halloween, all sorts of costumes! =D i missed out. );

DINNER!

Their Food are nice too!

Mee Goreng Mamak

*a lil bit salty*

but for people who like rich taste, it's just nice!

Yong Chau fried rice

The sambal belacan drive me to heaven!

Sausages. Daddy's choice. HAHA

it taste just normal.

Pizza! *drools*

THUMBS UP!

Papadam! serve with their sambal belacan, make me go O.o!!

Black Pepper Rib Eye! Taste good, with a lil bit of wine taste.

Egg Omelete

Daddy's choice again! HEHE!

And today, 31st of October! As everybody know, BASKIN ROBIN! 31% discount! O.O!! For sure, i'll grab it! *slrpp* Bought one quart. Of course, it's for Nic. =) *see, i'm a good sister*

Went to Jaya Jusco with family to shop! HEHE!

Chocolate mousse Royale!

Baskin Robin! =D

Bought myself a Tee, i love it! =D

It fits me nicely! muahaha!

MEDIUM! =D

you can't see me =P

So, just randomly blog about my weekend. HEHE! I LOVE FOOD!

FAMILY DAY ALWAYS AWESOME!

photos turn the moment into forever

2010-10-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

So, this post will be just randomly about photo. What i've been doing these days, and people that i met, i miss!

Happy moment, memorable scenes.

Was last weekend, out with mua babes and we had fun! Celebration!

*ignore my silly face! i just didn't wear correctly on that day! SO WRONG! and my shoe, NO, my heel, KILLING ME! this due to... lack of shoe! Seriously need to get a pair or two!

Look, how hideous i was on that day! );

PLUS! I'M FAT! D;

This is us!

Me & her <3

US =)

With dai Lou

in the food republic

Zamrudians & dai lou

Yesterday was Wei Jie's birthday! and.....

Today's Mr. Looi's! Of course, celebration must be on! We make it earlier! Suppose to be on Friday, and we celebrated on Wednesday! Great plan! Succeed!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beloved Mr. Looi

General Mathematics lecture and tutor!

Momma just said, i look fatter than before! awww.. D;

No test on week 7? Yay! Great! =D

am i dreaming?

2010-10-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, let me begin this post with.... OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! AM I DREAMING? *pinch me!* *HARDER*

I knew my marks for General Mathematics II test. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT! For the first time, get such result! *flying*

Yes, i'm satisfied with it. Happy 'cause, at least, i know i paid off my hard work, and i got SOMETHING back in return, which makes me feel happy! WORTH IT! it's not a waste =)

Now i truely understood the meaning of NO FREE LUNCH! B)

Buuuuuuuutttt! This Thursday will be Financial Management test, and i'm so NOOOOOT ready for it! sigh. I hope i can do well.

so blur.. was in the car after a great outing with babes!

*shoo me to study now!* *waterish eyes*

BIGBANG's Haru Haru playing! My favourite korean song ever! =)

WISH ME LUCK yo! =P

keep it up

happy!

2010-10-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

So, i'm done with my Computer Technology test and General Mathematics II test! I'M HAPPY ! at least i'm not that stressful. can breath.

There are ending and also beginning. One ended, for sure, another one begin.

General Mathematics II lecturer just told us, another test will be on week 8, and it cover chapter 2 and 3. I'm still okay with chapter 2, but chapter 3 is a disaster! =X i swear! although i've Additional Mathematics in high school, but i'm already DEAD at the very first chapter! so, you can imagine HOW GOOD is my Maths . =X

Okay, so next week will be Financial Management. Will do my best. =)

After that, hopefully i can have a good rest!

Tomorrow going out with my lovely babes again! can't wait to see them. It's been years since the last time we hang out together. =)

and my hands are itchy, i wanna shop! =D

I want holidays! );

Bought a new story book, Charlie St. Cloud. i believe it's a good book. Haven't start reading yet, no time. Zac Efron is HOT! xD I want to watch that movie too!

In love with Nutella chocolate jam! it's soo nice! so chocolaty! =D lovin it!

*hehe, random*

It taste good! Yumyum! *slrrpp*

Til here, ciao people. =)

do you still remember the three years promise?

couldn't stand

2010-10-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Pretend to be tough is hard. I thought i can pretend to be tough, but it show me the answer already, it's a big NO!

I tried to forget you, tried not to think of you. But in the end... i failed.

How i wish there's a 'delete' button in my brain. I'd delete all the memories between you and me, so that my life would be better?

Avril Lavinge's When you're gone is the best song ever to describe my feeling now.

When you walk away, i count the steps that you take, do you see how much i need you right now?

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

I miss you

getting started

2010-10-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hellloooo peeps! =) Loving my new template? HAHA! I love it very much! *wink*

Midterm, assignments, all are attacking me already, but i doesn't seems to be worry about it at all. WHAT HAPPEN TO ME ? i asked. No one knows the answer, even myself. I'm so stressfree, it's good or bad? I guess, BAD! HA! Don't care, live with it. That's what God want me to learn, to experience. Hell yeah, great!

I got to learn to go my own way. Being too dependent is a burden to people. I guess, this is one of the reason you left. Can i get you back? I've already get used to your existence.

I look at the old little corner that you used to sit everytime i pass by the place where i first saw you. Hoping that i'll see you there for once again someday. How i wish i can go back, back to the day i first saw you. Back to the day when we are together. Can i ? NO, IMPOSSIBLE.

I regret, regret for not cherishing you when you're still mine. Regret for not doing my best for you, regret for not being understanding enough for you. But now.. regret seems to be useless as well.

I miss you.

I wants to see you again, even if it's only 1 hour? no, 1 minute? Please.

Everyday i pray to God that He can let us meet again, or not meet, just let me see you even if you are far far away from me. As simple as that.

I remember the every single word you said, every single movement you do.

Things just doesn't go the way i want it to be.

Remember the promise you made?

Since the moment you walk away, my heart broken until today. And it will never fade away.

it's a broken promise

10.10.10

2010-10-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yay! it's 10.10.10! great day yo!

first of all, i would like to wish those people who're born today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and yea, to Wu Chun, and Kangta, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! =)

*still remember last year, i wished them too! time pass real fast!*

I've been kinda busy these days. Semester 2 started 3 weeks ago, and week 4's starting in few hours. All tests fall on week 5, i'm doomed! =X

Got to start doing revision now!

Well, think of so many things these days, when i'm on my way home from uni, or when i'm all alone at the lrt station, or when i'm on my bed. Don't worry, i'm not gonna post everything out, 'cause it'll really flood this post! HA!

I need to make a to-do list for myself. This is what in my mind last night. Why? HAHA! don't ask, 'cause i need it. =P

and, there're still tons of thoughts. 8-S

The road to my heart has been blocked, the door of my heart is locked, and the key of the lock is lost.

No way to enter.

Sounds emo right? i was! HAHA! but i don't feel like making this into an emo post.

I'm feeling GOOD now! =P crazy as ever! =D

What i'd like to do is, HELP! As much as i can. Help to helpless people, people who're inneed. =) brighten up my day yo!

I''ve a feeling that this post is soooo random! HAHA! anyway, again, HAPPY 10.10.10 people! ENJOY!

shouldn't eliminate

2010-09-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

Been abandoned this thingy for days. Let me scribble something here since i'm in a mood of writing? yea, well, anything. Have tons of thought in my mind.

Listening to classical music, best. Trying to make myself relax. Before that, was Chris Daughtry's September playing non-stop. I'M IN LOVE WITH IT =D

Read the newspaper this afternoon when i'm home, there's a news about a child in that family. She got Albinism. It's a kind of disease. She has fair and white skin, she can't stand under the sun, pink eyes, poor eye sight and white hair. This disease is very rare, among 200000 of people, only 1% of the people will have this kind of disease. It's inheritable. *don't know whether i'm correct or not. GO GOOGLE IT YOURSELF that's what i remember*

But, her parents love her very much. They give her the best they could. They did not feel shame because their daughter have this disease, yet they protect her, and they take her as a gift from God.

And something came to my mind, i felt shame on those people who leave their child in orphanage.

Not only that, talk about elimination or discrimination. Peoples will tend to talk about people who have sickness or disease. They laugh and fool about them just because they're different? they have sickness or disease?

I'm very particular on this. It may sound harsh, i apologize first.

I feel shame on those people who laugh at the people who are sick or have disease. SHAME ON YOU. Have you ever think about it, if you're like them, and people are laughing at you just because you're different, how will you feel? You feel sad and hurt right? So they do. We are all human, we have feelings and emotions.

Do you think they purposely want to have disease? NO. They don't. They feel sad too. And i'm sure they feel guilty also, as in they might think that they'll bring trouble to people around them. I'm sure, they felt sorry too. They might also blame themselves.

We shouldn't eliminate or discriminate them.

Be consider. Never laugh at people. We should try our best to help instead.

Remember, things goes round. Today, you may be the one who laugh at people, but someday, people will laugh at you.

we wouldn't know what will happen tomorrow

xoxo

bye bye holiday

2010-09-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

Just a blink of eye, my holiday end. Sad right? I don't like it. How i wish i can have never ending holiday. HAHA! MUST BE DREAMING!

Two weeks, that's less and time passing real FAST! I didn't even enjoy it yet.

I miss my family trip to Malacca that day, I miss the day i met with all my babes. I miss going out. I miss facebook-ing everyday. I miss sleeping at 3am/4am. SUCH AN UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE.

10 more minutes, my holiday'll be officially end. ); the hell come back. T.T

And yes, as you know, Semester 2 starts tomorrow. I'm ready? crap! I'm NOT READY! still not packing my bag yet! cool right? LOL. Okay, no joke. I don't feel like going back. But my babes are trying to cheer me up, and i should have face the truth.

I still feel so mess up. I'm not good at all.

can i smile?

Think of playing solo for 3 months. Can i ?

Will try to kick away my stupid self pride. Accept the way people think about me. SO THAT I CAN LIVE MORE HAPPILY?

Gotta get myself ready for the coming war. Ain't gonna lose anymore.

face the truth

xoxo

i love the night

2010-09-18T11:21:00.000-07:00

I love the night, it's raining. Not heavy, no thunder.

I feel so comfortable. Lying on the bed, is the best thing to do. =)

Play Jay Chou's musics will be perfect.

How i wish i can stop the time from moving. I wanna pause this moment, the night. Awesome night. Rain patting the windows.

I wanna go to a place where i can be alone. I want a new life with people that i don't know. (of course not my babes!)

Perhaps, i really don't belongs to this path.

Starts to isolate myself. I think peoples are complicated. Unpredictable. I'm afraid.

Maybe, that's what we called 'DARKNESS'.

nobody is perfect

xoxo

i wanna curse

2010-09-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

*beware that this post will be a bit rude*

*if you don't wish to see me curse, kindly ignore this post*

I hate it when people ask me about my result once the result is out. F*** Off!

I've no brain, so, don't ask me about my result. I didn't mention that i'm smart before right? Yea, so shut up.

I've the right to choose whether to tell or not to tell, and of course no one can force me to do the things that i don't wanna do. Did i bother you with my result? Sh*T!

You're not someone to me, why should i tell? Are you that "kiasu" huh? Asking around, or i should have give you a round of applause? *CLAP*

People are realistic. NO JOKE! REALISTIC! and yea, also HYPOCRITE! that's right, the best word to describe. Don't pretend to be so innocent in front of everyone, acting like you're weak or whatever it is, and at the end, show your true colours. BRAVO! BRAVO!

Well. *calm down* I know, if people out there read this, will surely have something in them. Like i care?

Talked to Daddy and Mommy (the peoples that i love the most in world, the best dad & mom ever!)

Daddy said, it's not the end of the world.

*no offence okay*

*please don't take one's seat according to the number on the ticket*

it's not the end of the world

xoxo

The Last Song

2010-09-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

Watched The Last Song, great movie and i'm lovin it! =D

though i don't really like Miley Cyrus, but the story's just awesome. I like Love story. =)

Yea, it's from Nicholas Sparks. And now, i'm in love with his books. I wanna read The Last Song, A Walk To Remember and Dear John. But i wonder, whether i have the time to read all of it. Probably not. );

I can't even finish two books in two weeks. (plan failed, blame the internet =p)

It's all love story i know. This is why, i'm so into the Twilight saga. Awesome! Don't you think that too?

There are still a few movies that i wanted to watch in this holiday, i started it late. Perhaps i'll have to stay up late just to finish all of it ?

I've listed out, hope that i can really done all of it. =)

Appreciate the one that you love, and also the one who love you

xoxo

cheeks burning

2010-09-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep, it's now 0220 in the midnight. I always feel emo at night, and it surely give me back a sleepless night, i wonder did i owe that Miss Insomnia in my previous life?

Was quite happy few days back, because of some reasons that i can't speak out, it's soundless. But then it always don't last long as i wish it could.

*Cheeks burning after i drank a half bottle of water, what happen to me?*

I'm obsess with something, but i don't know what's that thing. Is that thing important? I don't know. If it's not important, what's for me to be obsess with?

will the sky still shine tomorrow?

xoxo

nostalgia

2010-09-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

Reading some of my junior's blog, brings back something to me. Nostalgic.

The major examination of their's is coming, just around the corner.

Flashed back to my time, it was last year.

Last year, during that time, yea, i remember i was working hard on it. Reading, revising, doing exercises. Repeatedly everyday. On the desk, messed up. highlighters, pen, eraser, ruler, was my best friend. (woah, sound so good! imma good good girl ;])

Physics, Biology, Chemistry and Add Maths, do do do do. (Imma a noob at Add Maths and Chem, still the same til today)

I love Physics lots! but now it seems i doesn't have the chance to study it anymore. 'cause i've changed to Arts, doing business thingy.

Kinda miss my SPM time, everyone studying so hard. Really different from form 4, when we still playing and fooling around, we called it 'honeymoon year'. =D

To all my juniors out there, appreciate your high school life to the MAXXXX! although the SPM is frustrating, but still, it's just piece of cake (although i didnt perform well). You'll know why i say like this when you're in University or college.

Wish y'all the best of luck! =D do your best.

Out with babes

2010-09-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, i've been waiting this day for loooooong! Finally, an outing with my babes. =)

*i dunno why my dashboard become so small, difficult to see la, what did i pressed?* );

Okay, was so happy on that day! Seriously miss all my babes, too bad Miss Lea and Miss JiaMin's there. );

Picture speak louder than words. Let's see.. =)

There are still more photo but i'm kinda lazy to upload. ha! =p

Til here, ciao.

Malacca

2010-09-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

My first semester break, the very very first time in my life. There'll be more coming up.

So good that my semester break actually fall on Raya eve, also school holiday, so Daddy bring us to a very historic place, Malacca. Just an one day trip, but it's kinda fun. =D lovin it so much. Also, i'm the photographer on that day. You see, photo taken by me and a DSLR camera is sooooooooooo NICE !

Here are some photos that i took. Enjoy!

first stop

Tan Kim Hock

Nic

Nellie

Mom & Nic

historic

red

Then, our lunch

Rojak

Chicken rice

5 balls of rice

ice kacang

cockle

yau yu ong choi

There are still more photo, but i just don't wanna flood this post with photos. =)

Hope you all enjoy this post.

I miss Malacca!

bored

2010-09-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Told you, never ever let me be with boredom, 'cause i'll go flood my lovely bloggie, see.. That's what i'm doing now.

At 1243am, not a good time.

Can you feel the bored-ness? );

Nobody to talk to, it seems like i'm a loner. Yes! I am!

Reading people's blog, knowing how sweet people are with their another halve, which remind me of my own (past tense). Jealous, ya la, you can say that i'm desperate for one. I admit, but i'll just imagine okay! NOT for the real. I know how sucks it is.

Hay ya, yala, i'm a stalker. I stalk. Be proud if i stalk you! =)

If you ask, how i spend my holiday? I'll answer, day dreaming! HA! perfect answer. I imagine myself with those hot guys dating, how they pampered me with their love. Imagine my own love story which is totally opposite with my experience. LOL.

Kay, i crap! Just ignore the above statement. ;p *i'm bored* forgive me.

*Backstreet Boys songs playing*

nah.. makes me go more...*despo!* LOL

Throat dry, drink water.

And ya, painted my finger nails. 9 in pinkish red, one in purple white. Weird right? HA! 'cause i like it. ;p

'cause i'm bored

Peoples are having fun out there. When will be mine? Just don't wanna rot at home. );

Daddy decided to bring us to swim tomorrow, but i don't feel like swimming. What can i do?

and Thursday, Melaka one day trip. Nice enough? Yay! Play with my DSLR! (Daddy even want me to learn the skills from Scandium)

My fun all starts next week. ;D seriously, can't wait!! Excitement!

Logan Lerman aka Percy Jackson

;)

Remember when, we never needed each other

The best of friend like sister and brother

We understood, we'd never be alone

Those days are gone Now i want you so much

The night is long And i need your touch

xoxo

feel free and bored

2010-09-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

Now i know, being too random is not good. 'cause i'll flood my bloggie. and now, what to blog about?

Recently, in love with Backstreet Boys' Crawling back to you and Drowning. *heart*

Nice songs, people, go listen. You'll love it. =)

Semester break for two weeks, and now i can feel the boredom. HOW TO SURVIVE FOR TWO WEEKS ?

Kinda happy because i'm stress free now, can let myself relax a lil bit. Time to train myself up again. Practice healthy lifestyle? If i can. LOL but i really want some sports during this two weeks of holiday. Been living so unhealthy for sooo long..

Swimming, anyone?

I miss high school. I miss the foods, and my teachers. Will try to go back to visit during the second week. =)

Shopping, this is a must! I wanna buy Westlife's album! MUST! Mommy said she'll buy for me. =p and i'll keep watching it over and over again in this holiday! COOL!

Oh ya, two books. I'll try to finish reading that two books, 'The time traveler's wife' which i bought quite a long time ago, last few months and 'The 7 habits of highly effective people' which Daddy recommended.

Will go hunt for Starbucks as well.

Just can't wait for all these to come. =)

begging for a second chance, are you gonna let me in?

xoxo

hooorayyyy! holiday come to me!

2010-09-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hooooooraaaaayyyyyy!

Here comes the holiday! and yea, today's my last paper which is Financial Accounts, okay, honestly, i screwed it. ); gah... let it be, don't wanna talk about it anymore! Imma play til it drop in this two weeks of holidays! YAY!

Am happy now, i can online without feeling guilty. HA!

i like him

just wonder why everyone hate him.

he's way way way better than the wolf kay. ;p

Plan for holiday? ha! lotsa things to do. I wanna go.... i wanna eat... i wanna buy.... so many. i'll be broke. I'll gain weight (which is not a good thing). xD

I'll enjoy to the MAXXXXXXX before getting the sucks result, and before my new semester begin. ;)

shouldn't be here

2010-08-31T03:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, look at the title, you know, i shouldn't be here, then where should i ? I SHOULD BE IN FRONT OF THE DESK AND EYES ON THE NOTES! i'm NOT, obviously.

Here i come to keep you update again. =)

Well, tomorrow will be a BIG BIG day, FINAL exam finally HERE! wooootsss! not looking forward. nah.. the mood gone. Stressful! ));

I only think of my holiday, how nice. AWESOME moment. BUT, i also keep on reminding myself that, EXAM COME BEFORE HOLIDAY, and HOLIDAY COME AFTER EXAM. :s

First paper, Critical Thinking. i forgot what's that all about. HOW HOW HOW? T.T

and, ya know, insomnia is a good friend of mine, it visit me everyday! so sweet =.="

Slept at 4 in the morning everyday, waking up late, mood gone.

Done with the timetable thingy which got me on nerve! Ha! Thanks to Sue Ann for helping me on Management. =) consider nice la, and I'm FREE on Wednesday. ;p

Shane Filan

Shane yo!! Westlife

MAN!!

All the best kay, i just wish to pass all. =)

and for sure, will do my best! ;D

you apologize no matter who was wrong

xoxo

today was a fairytale

2010-08-28T04:24:00.000-07:00

Today was great! Mommy wake me up early in the morning 'cause i have to meet up with my babes at 9am, so i get up and prepare myself. And yea, wore my new shorts! =) aleh, i don't look good today, wasted that shorts la. SO SAD. ); but i kinda happy to see my babes! ;D

I'M FAT AND ROUND ))))));

First we headed to Steven's Corner to have breakfast. chit chat.. talk talk talk, our favourite. =x

Nat_Jing

(ignore my fat and round face) );

Then, headed to our HR''s new house, neh.. the red/orange shirt guy is my ex HR.

then, headed to my house, 'cause My babe was saying that she miss my Sisters and my Mom =D

Me and my Sook yee

(notice my new short) ;D

Jia min and Nellie, I

Dai lou Kent! =)

They fancy Nellie la, i'm abandoned. );

happy to see them. It's been a long time since i saw them, am soooo happy! ;)) and my HR too, i remember we used to have dinner together sometimes after work. =) He's a funny guy. ;DD

Taecyeon <3>

Gonna meet them again SOOOOOONNNNN!

random crap

2010-08-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, was wanting to criticize someone with my bloggie on the way home, but then when i reach home and munched on the yummy Subway's burger, and tweeted about that fag, I DON'T HAVE THE FEEL TO CRITICIZE that FELLA IN MY BLOG ANYMORE! it'll only pollute my blog, i guess. ;p

Final final final, everyone are busy and worry with it, but what about me? ngek ngek ngek, doesn't seems to be worrying. I'M VERY BERRY WORRY KAY? can't you feel it? Muahaha!

Got all my coursework marks this morning, WAH!!! some make me happy some make me sad. WANNA KNOW ? hehe. to stranger, i'll let you see. To my babes, of course, LET'S SEE!

NAH, I'M NOT SHOWING! NEH NEH NEH BU ;PP!

Final, gonna do better! TO BREAK EVERYONE'S SPECS!

Hyung Jun ah!!!!! ;D

got to go.

study, bye bye.

and yea! to the people who are sitting for final or whatever exams, GOOD LUCK !

for nothing

2010-08-22T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'm here again, and now is 0028, morning! Monday, another black Monday. Have to admit, i hate Monday.

Final exams starts next week, and i'm not prepare yet! NOT ANY! superb right? people may feel happy if they see this. Am gonna die in final although am already half dying now. All quizzes, test and assignment, not doing well. Especially Maths and Account. DEAD!

I'm a last minute people. Always do things last minute.

Will stop talking about those nonsense that i've mentioned before.

I don't have the mood to study, why? No idea.

with Nellie's bolster ;p

Can i like, surprise those people who look down on me in Final? ;D

Hope so! Your specs gonna break break! ;p

GODFREY!! ;)

From now on, imma upload one or two photos of some haaaawtttt guy in every post. ;DD

People, will you like it? hehe..<3>

20th of August

2010-08-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'll remember today, 20th of August, the day that i see you again.

Yes, i saw you, but i guess, you didn't notice me.

today was a fairytale =)

Looking at you is like going back to the past. You never change, still that skinny. The feeling is still the same, never fade.

Heart pound fast, can't believe my eyes, but that's true, you're just in front of me, but i'm coward enough til i don't even dare to walk to the front.

i miss you

changes that i build

2010-08-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

Talk about changes, yes, i did change, not from bad to good, but from good to bad or even worst.

I don't know what to say, guilt and sorry.

I myself realize that, i've turn bad. To everything, everyone. I know this is what i shouldn't do, but why will i do? i really have no idea.

I should be more mature.

Am so sorry to daddy and mommy.

I promise, i'll give you all back the good good Natalie. =)

will i be okay after i blast everything out?

2010-08-19T07:21:00.001-07:00

Was on phone with my babe Sook Yee this two days, kinda long time didn't call her. I miss the time during high school, i used to call her almost everyday. =) Miss her voice as well.

We talked about so many things, was happy. Just now, called her and i cried. Just can't resist, the tears keep rolling down, and i can't even talk. She keep on talking to me to cheer me up, Thanks babe. =)

Wonder why i cry? Told her that i'm useless.

my effort still not enough

Talk about humiliation, i've never been humiliate by anyone before i enter University. Neither family nor friends did that to me. Never.

But after i enter university, it happen almost everyday. I've been humiliated by peoples almost everyday. Now i know how it feels, not a good feeling.

Wonder did i fight back? Honestly speaking, i remain silent. Why? Because when peoples are smarter than you, the only thing that you can do is shut up.

Wonder how will daddy react if i tell him his daughter has been humiliated by people in university almost everyday.

I think, it's time for me to get all this. Give and take. Experience.

feel shame

Thanks to my babes Sukyie Loh, Pui Jing, Yuh Wen and Amanda Kuek for cheering me up in facebook. =)

Yes, like they said, should keep fighting!

*will be right beside me* =)

Eyes pain, due to crying. But, i do feel better after i cried. *Why this girl always cry la? * 'Cause i'm easy to get crying. ;)

end here.

awakening

2010-08-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

Read a great blog and it really make me awake! But, still it's a tough task.

there are stories behind a smile

Trying on everything.

Been thinking while reading, what people does, and what i did.

Situation might be different, but still looking at the same angle, though mine is not that bad.

People awake and so i am ? NO. Obviously, i'm still in that situation where i still think about the past, still half diving.

I'm searching, searching for turning point, for U-Turn.

I'm begging, begging for chances, begging for miracle.

I'm asking, asking for things that's not belongs to me.

Now i ask myself, is that worth for me to search and beg?

I change, change to be so Not me. I avoid from people who like me, i act so Not me in front of everyone. Hypocrite it called.

Go on.

stay calm and dont go mad

2010-08-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

it's 0330 now, 30 minutes more to 0400. Let me finish this in 30 minutes then gonna hit the sack.

what's on my mind now? Am gonna tell and ya, Don't go mad! stay calm! don't shout! LOL

sexy right?

Told ya! will turn so wild when you see him!

I love him so so much! he's the first model that i really love at first sight! few years back saw him on a tv show, then started to keep an eye on him. ;p

my type!

My type, my type! LIKE HIM! <3

love at first sight

He's Godfrey. My lover!

Am gonna buy his new release book which is all about him and filled with all his photo!

Ain't gonna share him with anyone! hehehe.. ;]

and he's the type that i like.

Still having Godfrey's fever!

Ha, gonna hit the sack! meet Godfrey in dream! xD

bestir oneself

2010-08-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

Had a great dinner just now. And i found out one thing that inspired me!

Am gonna work hard for it! Am gonna make his dream come true. Dad, i love you! ;)

So proud! ;)

Actually, think wisely, i should be happy with what i'm having now. As a science student before, i've nothing in my mind about accounts and economics, but i'm now studying for it, and knowing some of it already, should i be proud? Maybe, YES, i should be!

Putting more effort on those subjects that i'm not so good in. Working!

Stop the blame, and get working!

Like what Yeong Shen said, 'instead of blaming yourself, why not get yourself started to work for final?" Right! You're right!

And, Sue Ann, you wait! For sure, we'll rent house together next year! We'll be together! ;) I won't resit ! ;)

NO LOSER!

memories

2010-08-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

It just happened like I'd pressed the rewind button. Was all of a sudden, think of you. All the things about me and you, were on my mind. Thoughts and feelings.

Honestly speaking, to forget the one that you love, really hard.

Time flies, it's been 6 months. It's been a while since you and i talk, how are you? *smile sarcastically* this seems to be a silly question, i shouldn't ask this question, but, beside this, what can i say? I've no idea.

I miss you, i miss your smiles, your eyes, your voice, your smells, your touch, your hand, your everything. Are you happy? Are you happy in this period of time?

I'm not happy, pretend to be happy is hard. It's a tough task for me.

Until now, i'll still think of those things that we did together. Maybe, to forget someone, is really hard. Or, maybe, you've already get used to it. You might feel happier than before.

I smile whenever i think of you! Think from the beginning of our relationship, think about the precious time that we spend together, the laughters, the jokes, until the day it ends. I miss it! I want to go back!

I wanted to go back to that day, when we both walking on the street, if i can turn back the time, i'll hold your hand tightly. I'll not care about the stupid self-pride anymore, i won't care about the restrain, or any other thing! I'll hold your hand tightly! And if i do so, maybe things won't happen, maybe we will still be we.

Can we be together again? Because, i'm not happy. Not at all. I should be more selfish, hold you tight and don't let you go. I should !

I really miss you, we deserve chances. Give us another chance, not only me, but you. We both.

Thank you for loving me in the past, but i'm still loving you.

Come back to me?

These are all the things that i want to tell you, but it just can't be told.

what's wrong with me?

2010-08-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

It's 00:00 now, i should be sleeping, but not! i'm here blogging.

Am having a very weird feeling, but i don't know what feeling is that! Incomplete, lost, blur, nothingness, emptiness... what's that?

Am superb down now! who can i talk to? really weird! what can i do? );

Can somebody tell me what's happening?

can i cry now? I don't feel it.

Can i smile? No, not that.

then, what?

Seriously, i hate this feeling very very much! Bordered me! what the hell is this! ish!

*this will be a crap post, you may ignore it*

); ); )=

true colour

2010-07-31T08:08:00.000-07:00

it's week 10, time flies. Things come and go, and unexpectedly, humans true colour revealed gradually. Lesson learnt, never trust someone so easily. we might be silly sometimes without our self being aware of it.

eyes, is what we use to observe, believe in what we see

People can pretend to be so weak in front of everyone, and there you know how fake people is

Hypocrite, you've succeed. you make everyone believe in you.

and there go, i being naive, trust in you.

But sometimes, we can't put the blame on those hypocrite, should blame our self for being silly.

there could be a devil behind a smile

friendship is what I'm searching for in the new phrase of my life, but it seems to be so hard, and it's what i really treasure.

Appreciate people who really help you, and here comes the true friends.

I know who you are, i really like you all.

(Wei Jie, Lay yan, Jung Yung, Kenny, Sue Ann..)

People treat me well, i'll treat them even well!

People treat me bad, i dont give a damn, and i'll return 1000000x even bad to them!

To all my girls out there that i love the most, remember i always miss you girls! ;) i really do!

stressful

2010-07-29T03:14:00.000-07:00

Taking out a few minutes from studying to update my bloggie.

Tomorrow will be my General Mathematics quiz 2, I'm nervous! people who know me will know how 'good' my mathematics was. test 1 and quiz 1, i done terribly! It makes my mood go down down for two days, washes my face with tears. );

if there's nothing happen, most probably, I'll be resitting this General Mathematics 1 in the next sem. );

I'm very optimist since i got so many attacks before, I'm immune? i don't know.

i seriously hope that i don't need to resit, please! god bless me! I'm working hard on it.

but, think again, nothing wrong with resitting actually, just that people keep on looking down upon you, let them be, you get used to it already. );

oh mama! how am i gonna survive after i get the result, another broken heart!

really hope to pass it! ;) i don't aim high in Maths, just a pass. please!

work harder! harder!

mathematico, i really hope you treat me well!

the task

2010-07-18T02:03:00.001-07:00

Have the feel to blog, just let me drop here something, i might not have the feel to blog later on.

For thing to change, i must change first.

life will never be black and white

(ignore the nerd)

Dont wanna repeat it again.

Still remember how it feel, like a knife poke into the heart. Bleed.

To make thing better, i must to be better. Better than before. Not better than others, but myself.

There's not free lunch, to get something, we have to pay for it.

Effort pay off. Not enough, pay more!

Face the reality.

It's not the material that can satisfy me, but the piece of paper.

Never look down upon. My task's not complete.

I'm running all the way, i'll reach the destination, my aim someday!

Keep running, stand up when you fall. Run faster when you want to give up.

End up with happiness and satisfaction. That's what i want. And that's what i deserve to achieve if i work for it.

Keep going! There's no end for rainbow.

shall change

2010-07-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

Another great day ahead.

My life is in a mess? yea, guess so. Shall live in regular pattern.

braid

It's time to get back on track. Do what i should. Be carefree.

I miss secondary school life freaking lot, can i go back? I've regret for what i'm doing now. Again, and always, a big big disappointment in front of the decision i made.

Do not give up? Can i ?

Be Thankful.

I'll work for it no matter what, regardless how will it be at the end, at least i do my best.

that's it

2010-07-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

You'll never know until thing happened. Unpredictable. Surprises.

Friends are hard to find. Especially true friend, friend who you can heart to heart talk to, friend who are on the same tune. Believe it, there's.

you'll see who're the real one

Life is a happy accident. It's hard to get a life, the chances of getting a life is very low. You should be happy with your life because you're lucky to come to this world. Although it might be ugly, but look at different point, you'll find that actually there's still colors in life.

Appreciate and treasure.

emo attack

2010-07-15T01:09:00.001-07:00

Wonder why emo-ness don't let me go, hold me tightly and lock me up. Why? Did i kill your lover or something? Just let me go okay?

Am so emo right now, and few days ago. This will be another emo post again.

I realized that it's been a while since i smile wholeheartedly. I forget how to smile i guess.

Smile.. what's that?

define me the meaning of smile

Been thinking, thinking and thinking for several times, something that i shouldn't think about.

Being silly and naive.

Hard to forget.

The pain, still there.

It's sucks, it's sick, it's hurt, it's torture, it's burden, it's pain, it's suffer.

The scars you carve on the heart, will never disappear. It'll be there forever.

Phobia.

believe in self

People out there, don't ever be proud of what you're having, and don't think of Forever. Things won't last forever.

In the dark, i figure out my way.

Won't fall

Eclipse

2010-07-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

Watched Twilight Saga: Eclipse today! Thumb up! I love it much! Edward oh Edward!!

Awesome! ;)

Met up with my girlfriends today, i miss them so so much! it's been a long time didnt see them, am glad to see them today! Had a great time with them, chitchat, jokes, fun! Love it!

Too bad that i always have to go home early and on time, spoiled their fun.

When will be the next time ? soon or later? I really miss you girls a lot!

I really hate goodbye. I cried today, 'cause of my babe's wave, the last wave with her calling my name and i turnaround. Tears dropped. );

Was so emo in the bus, tears keep on falling, thinking of something which i shouldn't.

Missing someone is even hurt than losing someone.

Edward oh Edward!

"I know the consequences of the choice you made, i live through it."

awesome shit! Eclipse!

Edward love Bella! Natalie love Edward!

funny part, Jacob said "I'm hotter than you" to Edward. =.="

Another post will be here soon. ;)

consequences

2010-07-03T02:44:00.000-07:00

Forget about yesterday, remember today and future? wonder why i just can't forget about the sorrow. Hurting so badly, scars on heart. Take away my confidence and also my happiness. Sweep away at once.

Break me down. fall on the ground. Still remember the circumstance, i stunned. Mind was all blur and empty.

Learnt a lesson, the consequences.

things could repeat again

Be brave to face it?

Again, i doubt myself whether is that a right decision, can i survive til the end?

Giving up? why i hold it tight at the very first?

Is that what i want and what i posses at last?

What can i do now? continue or stop? Give up or pull back?

I can't see rainbow. living in the dark.

Can i stand up at the end? will i continue to be the loser or the winner?

" you have no right to blame or cry, because you're not working hard enough, loser."

Realization. Awareness.

face the truth

2010-06-29T01:26:00.000-07:00

We're born to be the way we are.

There's actually all kind of people you can see in university or college. They're not the kind that we see and we get used to in high school, which is all know each other very well.

As what I've observed in this period of time, i see so many different kind of people. There's people who're shy, who're so 'proud' of them self, who're smart, and who're so unpredictable.

And there's also people who talk straight to the point when they talk to you, but they'll still watch their mouth just in case that they'll actually hurt your feeling.

I like this kind of people who're so straight forward, giving you some comment or idea on your appearance, or on your work rather than those who keep quiet and do things behind you.

I don't know what kind of people i am, but i like to listen to people's comment, because i think only when we listen to the comment, we'll change. No doubt you'll feel hurt and heartache, but it's just a while, take it easy and let it go. Listen to the comment so that you're moving on to a better one.

Sometimes we should be more ignorant in order to make our life better. We actually should keep our curiosity away. Be ignorant, don't care what other people talk about you.

Mind you own business is what best describe.

You know what you are.

Still the old quote i love to use, do what you should and what you can.

Should also try your best to help people when people need help.

We do what we get.

We might not know what people doing behind us, but if we're doing all good, i believe God will stand by your side.

Do things wholeheartedly, you might not get anything but at least happiness can fulfilled your wants.

emo-ness hit me

2010-06-23T06:34:00.000-07:00

Again, hits by the emo-ness.

was all out of a sudden, reminds me of everything about me and you

'cause today is the day

It's been a year.

And i still can't forget.

Desperate for a partner? Yes, i was!(you're still in my mind) But, now not anymore. It is a split second of thought, and it fades after that.

What's life all about?

we do what we can, and what we suppose to.

For me, at this stage, study is my prior, and i really hope it is!

Stick to it, hope it will never change. Concerning.

Aims =)

do what you should.

again here i am

2010-06-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

Let me keep you updated! ;)

Two assignments in hand, and test and quiz are just around the corner, i'm still in the playing mood! die die!

Darn nervous now, still fooling around with friends, ish! On Friday, plan to discuss assignment together since we have 4 hours break before another class start. who know, we went to General Mathematics consultation for one hour+, then to library do some revision, end up without discussion. >.<>

and here are some photo taken that day ;) let me introduce my new friends in university.

wei jie aka Richard! was a PTM kaki before! lol

Trent aka Rice, from group 1

Hui Ping,my Groupmate yo!

Lay Yan, knew her on the first day of orientation, was surprise and happy to be in the same class and same group. she's smart weh!

yea, you can see. we gila this Eclipse! ;p

Having fun with them, but headache with study! die die! Natalie, you suppose to be studying! GO! *whack* ouch!

Later la.

Haiz, that's me. =.=

busy busy and busy

2010-06-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Been quite busy these days, study and study. But still i manage to update my blog, 'cause i don't wanna kill it.

Time pass fast, second week down. Many new things coming on, stacks and stacks. Playing with the brain, playing with the mind. Concentrate and focus. Better and better.

Get used to the new life, and now i'm enjoying. Happy with friends, and my works.

Waking up early in the morning, everyday starts with the smiles, so freshy. To school, smiles on the face and jokes everywhere.

We play, we joke, we talk, we satirize, we eat, we drink, we walk, we headache, we laugh and we smile. This's the routine. or even at night, we discuss General Mathematics together, one of us blur, another one explain.

Living so peacefully with them ;)

Revise, revise.

so many things to do, so little time.

so many things to memorize, so little space in my brain.

Peer Mentoring Program, awesome. The first session down, how many to go? looking forward. when will i be mentor? can't wait.

it's time to forget the things that i grasped for nothing. Move on.

Lesser laughter more suffer, lesser suffer more laughter ;)

built-ing up the stress. higher and higher.

Exams, quizzes, assignments, presentations, coming up. Timeless + sleepless

Twelve more weeks to final. work hard, work hard! I'm climbing up yo!

i'm half alive

2010-06-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

What can i say about my life now? The first week's always nice, but after it, not so nice anymore. Flooded with tutorials. Assignments are coming, just around the corner. I'm not looking forward to it. Seriously, you need to do revision everyday after your class, and weekly revision every Sunday. I'm trying to make it as a habit of mine. no joke. I'm stress !

General Mathematics, you killed me! but, nevermind, i'll revenge! Don't la make me hate you, should love you. Muackssss.. see i kiss you, so you must kiss me back, love me. ;)

So far, only General Mathematics screwed me up! Others still ok. This General Maths, bluff people one, name only General, actually not! Where got general? not at all! Anyhow, i'll make it general.

Met lots of friends there, and they're kinda friendly. Smiles and laughs everyday like mad. Fooling around with them, fun!

Emo only on Study =.= really stress!

Working hard.

nearly die on the first day of semester, bad sign ?

2010-05-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

Nearly die on the first day of semester, knocked by a car(i curse the driver! won't be driving that car anymore, kancil in future!). My arm hurt, but not serious. I'm fine =)

It's a bad sign or what? i don't know.

Okay, today class start at 8am, and i woke up at 5:30am? Oh gosh! i'm sleepy. well, after i done everything, then Mommy fetch me to the lrt station. Thank God that i have my new MP3 with me, i'm not bored in the morning =)

Reach campus, and went into the class. All new faces, except the one sit beside me, John Lim Zhi Hao (desperate boy), but had fun with him. he's kinda funny? i don't know. Anyways, he met his cup of tea on the first day of Orientation. (he'll kill me if he see this) =P

Lecturer talk talk talk, i listen listen listen. and of course understand la.

Classes end at 4pm, and i'm so proud of myself! I walk from campus to the Lrt station! raining weh! but, good experience. I won't repeat it again! =.=

Okay, stop talking about my university stuff, i bet people won't want to read it.

Well, let's stop here. And i'm gonna hide myself in the blanket. =p

Hope tomorrow will be a good day! gimme a freshy morning!

Take care people.

let's wait for the next to come

2010-05-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

First of all, i would like to say sorry to my friends for the incident today. Sookyee, yuhwen and Xinni. Felt so sorry for it, and i think, i always ruined the fun.

I think, i'll have to wait for the next outing to come, it'll take a long time. Can't go out often anymore. Mommy and Daddy said 'No more outing everyweek!'

Well, Monday! I've been waiting for so long. My semester start on Monday! Meaning that i'll be studying from Monday onwards.

I have classes everyday, i hope i'll enjoy it!

I want to make some different in university, i don't wanna live with sucks result anymore like what i had in secondary school. That's so sucks! *slap* Can't continue with it.

I'll study real hard, work extra hard for it! I wanna get CGPA of 3.0? Is that possible?

Let's see. Or maybe i remain useless like before. I don't know.

Challenge?

I'm about to give up at the beginning. How could i survive?

Stand it!

cousiez

2010-05-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

This is a late post, felt so sorry to post it up late. That was the day, the day my toe injured, the day i got high fever, the day i got so many laughter, the day i went out with them. The long awaiting day.

Let the photos do the talking

3 of them

3 of us, and total up 6 together =)

the eldest, my sis la, Nicole

this, my cousie, eldest, but younger than my sis, Lee yeng

and, my turn. Natalie, in case you don't know!!?

okay, younger than me. Lee yee

the youngest, lee yong.

That day, we were like doing the shades show, keep playing with shades and camera.

they look alike huh?

and so, we are.

notice that i got a new spec. ;)

I miss the day. So much of laughter, the jokes, and the smiles. I love y'all!

Love to be with them, when i was small, we play together. Sing and dance.

We heart to heart talk, no other people can be like us, so real. With all the gossips, talks, and jokes.

Love y'all.

be there whenever i need support

Don't fall, don't fall. Stay strong. growing!

Utar Orientation

2010-05-25T02:52:00.000-07:00

As y'all know, i'm an Utar-ian! Yes, i'm one of them. Officially!!

Attended to the orientation program yesterday, and today. Well, was good, still considered good. Not like what i expected it to be. The seniors work hard yo! *clap*

Out of my expectation. One of the emcee which is my senior, thumb up! Fluent English and entertaining.

It's all about talks, talks and talks. Soft skills, safety, finance, library and stuff. I've been yawning, and yawning. Sorry la, still in holiday mood.

Am happy 'cause tomorrow i can sleep late a bit, i'm not joining for the ice breaking thingy =)

Looking forward to the Mass Call on Thursday.

Quite tired these two days, got to wake up early in the morning, Daddy and Mommy fetch me to the LRT station, and from Cempaka to Masjid Jamek, later on, from Masjid Jamek change to Kelana Jaya line to Asia Jaya. Then, Utar bus or Rapid bus to campus. Long route la! and i nearly lost in Petaling Jaya today! Experience! nice one. ish! =.=

Still learning to cope with university's life. I believe, as time goes by, i'll be happy and get use to it.

Gambateh Natalie!! Bare with it!

bowling =)

2010-05-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

Be careful!!! This post will flooded with photos! beware!

Was so freaking tired last night, and so i slept so early and this morning, woke up so early. Fresh morning, with the eyes open wide. O.O

Dated my girl friends to Pudu for lunch, then, one of a sudden, got the feel to play bowling, and so, we really went to TS for bowling.

look, here is me, sookyee the cochrane-ian, and jing.

and here we are, the 4 of us again ;)

Later on, we head to McDonald at Bukit Bintang to meet up with the long lost friend, Grace Choo.

Before Grace come to meet with us, we play with the camera again.

the four

showing our teeth and sook's braces (i like it!!)

starting to pose those naughty face (but sook's blur)

i pinch you, you pinch me, we are happy family

4, 3, 2, 1

salute!

gah.. weird

i can roll my tongue =p

retarded!

star, + promoting McD

here's our long LOST friend, Grace Choo

Asked you to be careful, right? So many photos here. I had fun today.

And, and, and, you know what? There's a Scotchman talked to me today. Omg! I was like.. Happy!! Know la, i crazy 'ang moh'!

Til here for this. More coming up next.

Take care

i'm strong

2010-05-12T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm strong!

You'll never be alone, when there're no more hero.

I can live alone, with all the loves. Family, friends and peoples.

God bless me. I have everything i want.

Appreciated. Thankfully.

I appreciate what i've possessed, be great. =)

Treasure before it's too late

for the first time we went there together

2010-05-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

oh yes, our first photo on that day ;)

On the 10th of May, went to Paviloin and KLCC with my girl, the cute one.

here we are

Walked around in Pavilion, and later that, head to KLCC. Thank God that the weather was good, no big sun shine on us.

Went to Madam Kwan's for lunch, yummy!~

Then, start shopping. I bought nothing, but she bought so many things.

i'm not in the good condition that day

Snaps around, and we do had fun! Chit chat, gossips and more! xD

What a nice day! :D

on our way back to Pavilion

that's what we always do when we were young (small kid)

but i still love it =)

Back to Pavilion

Head to Snowflakes (yum yums!), got this for free. Love it xD

the girls

while we're enjoying the lovely dessert :D

Still more to come!

I appreciated it so much, our laughter, our smiles.

emo again

2010-05-08T10:12:00.001-07:00

Let me post something here, since i've abandoned my blog for few days? Alright, let me make it alive.

' I'll be loving you, forever. even if you took my heart, and tore in apart, i'll love you still forever~' yes, Westlife's I'll be loving you forever's playing now. And you know what's on my mind ? I really wonder will love last forever?

For me, i don't really believe in that 'Forever' word, it's just a meaningless word to me.

Maybe, i'm just too timid, i might not believing it again? I don't know.

'I'll love you forever!' *slap* wake up, no such thing as Forever Love!

Nothing can last forever,but if it last, it will never be intact.

Watched 'Triumph In the Skies' again at home, like the 5th times? Anyway, i just love this drama. I love Samuel Tong in that drama, he's just so great. I like his love story with the girl who younger than him like 10 years? oh, well, age is nothing if you really love someone. They're so sweet. The girl, Zoe. She's brave, and she work hard to chase what she want.

I love Rome. Don't you think that this is a romantic place? I do think so.

My mood is capricious these days, i don't know why. Sometimes i feel like, i've fully recovered. But, sometimes i feel down. What happen to me?

Actually, there's few factors that make me go like this, i guess i just need some time or some other thing. I don't know, i just hope that i'll be okay as soon as possible.

I'm afraid? yes, this is one of it.

There's happy thing also, is like, i'm okay already? well, you know what i mean. Time will heal =) so, no worry!

I guess, this will be another emo post of mine? Yeap, it is.

Anyway, this my blog right? who care what i post, no one will read.

These days, it's so easy to get myself crying. I don't know why, some little thing can make the tears fill my eyes. Weird right? But i didn't let it fall.

I want Samuel Tong and Edward Cullen so badly! (make the conclusion in a funny and happy way is better than letting it flow with sadness right? )

Hope y'all enjoy! oh ya! some of my friends are starting school, Good luck ya! Welcome back to school =)

Natalie

xoxo

different

2010-05-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

Have you notice something different when you visit me? I mean my blog. yea, it turns pink. I like pink actually.

Tweeted ' I'll be loving you forever' on Twitter, and i got reply from kchi92, he ask me, 'forever? U sure?', and of course i replied back, ' i dunno, coz i don't really believe in that 'forever' word. lol'.

And this got me a question, do 'forever' happen? Anyone can answer my question?

To me, i don't think it will happen. What do you think?

I wanna live in a fairyland.

another great day

2010-05-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Slept at 4 last night, and wake up at 8, super tired. I set so many alarms just to wake myself up, like 6 or 7 alarms. Well, i'm having some trouble with my sleeping time, adjusting it.

Washed my face and brushed my teeth, look at the clock on the wall of the living room, still early for me to bath, so i decided to on the tv and tuned to channel 705 since other channels can't caught my eyes. Musics playing. I see nothing special, so went to bath.

After i bath, and everything done. Sit on the sofa, eyes back on the tv. My eyes widen one of a sudden, guess what? It's WESTLIFE ! Westlife's obvious is on the tv! Oh my God! Shouted out loud!

Glad that i'm alone at home, 'cause dad and mom went to market. After that, i thought i can calm, but who knows, David Archuleta coming! oh my! Well, just sing along. 'I'm just a little too not over you~", later on, i really thought i could just calm down, but! Ronan Keating coming up with his so nice and sexy body! oh my God! Half naked lying on the bed. Well, 'Stay' by Ronan Keating playing.

At last, i decided to off the tv and get out of the house. My girl friends are waiting for me.

Went to Pavilion and watched WHEN IN ROME. Nice movie, thumb up yo! =)

End here. see ya! another great day =)

when i'm bored

2010-04-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm bored, serious! I'm freaking bored. What to do ? Keep disturbing peoples around, and some even ignored me. so bad lo!

My life after i ended my work is in a mess, all timing gone wrong. Sleep at 2 in the morning, and wake up at 12 in the afternoon. And what's weird was, i have nightmare, or dreams which is very weird. Like dog can talk in that dream. Oh my god.

I painted my nails since i'm too free. =)

Let's see who's coming ? tadang! it's Westlife baby!

Shane Filan! owh, i love him!

this is Nicky Byrne. He's cute weh!

Mark Feehily. look at his blue eyes. oh my!

Kian Egan, his voice's cute.

Westlife above! Forgive me, i'm too bored. let me introduce my lovely Westlife a bit in my blog.

Tell ya, i love Westlife since i was 9, small kid time. Their song, nice la! Almost every songs i have.

I do hope you all like Westlife too. Support them! =p

Westlife tour starting soon, they're going round, but i can't see Malaysia in the list. )=

Oh ya! did you realize that there're some different in my blog ? =) Yea la, i changed the skin. Back to the normal one, not something from blogskin.com anymore. Sometimes, we need some changes in life.

great day =)

2010-04-29T03:24:00.000-07:00

What a great day! was so excited since last night.

Woke up early, and prepare to go out. Met up with Chien Hao ( my 11 years friend, knew him since primary one) at Masjid Jamek, 'cause i wanted to know the route to UTAR, so he brought me there. After that, we head to Time Square. Walk around, to SONY shop, thought to buy MP3, but since the model is kind a weird, give up. Head to NIKE shop, wanted to buy a bag for school use, saw one which is quite nice, still considering.

Then, went to Starbucks. Ordered our drinks, and chit chat there. Nice chat!

mine is hot mocha, and his dark mocha ice blended

We talk about so many things, smile and laugh!

Great day!

Still more to come! =)

i have the feel to blog

2010-04-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

I have the feel to blog, let me post something here. My life is getting bored after i ended my work. I'm rotting. >.<

On that night, i don't know what i'm thinking, and suddenly start to do some photo editing. Doing some effect on those photos, quite funny! I've tagged the photo to some of my friends in facebook.

woah~this one can use to bluff ppl.

Life's boring. Help me! i wanna go shopping! there're so many things to buy! I need someone to accompany!

Daniel Wu and Lisa S. did it!

2010-04-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Daniel&lisa

I'm gonna do it, i really gonna do it, i know i'm late, but i still wanna blog about it! I just love it so much!

Daniel Wu tied a knot with his 8 years girlfriend Lisa S. ! On the 6th of April, their wedding ceremony held in South Africa. "This is the place where I fell in love with Lisa, so we decided to hold our wedding here, a place which holds a special meaning for us," Daniel say.

Let the photo to tell the story. =)

Lisa S. Daniel's wife =)

they're perfect match!

danielisa

exchanging rings. love

perfect couple =)

Felt so happy after i knew it. =) congrats !

handsome guy and pretty girl, perfectly match!

Take a look at Daniel and Lisa's blog. =)

Lovely! danielisa =)

my 2 months of work in MSIG

2010-04-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

Let me talk about my work, finally, i've ended my 2 months of work in MSIG. A very good experience, making new friends there, and get to know how's life of adult,and how's life of working. Not bad. Peoples there good and friendly, learn many things there. I'll miss them lot xD

I do enjoy my work, although is quite boring, 'cause i'm a receptionist, i only need to sit there and do nothing.

Okay, let me introduce some of my colleague.

This is PhekSim. a very nice lady. hugged her before i leave =)

this is the HR, Ken Lim, he look serious, but actually NOT at all. always fool around with me

Azlia, nice lady too. =)

Hairif, very funny guy, and he's tall

shamsol, he's good too.

This is Kathryn, and she's very cute and friendly. I like this pretty lady, you can only see laughter on her. =)

Too bad, i don't have the chance to take photo with my colleague at 22nd floor which is my department (customer service), they're very nice too. I'm gonna miss them lot!

I hereby to wish them all the best and good luck. we'll meet again. Thank you for everything!

Had a great time with all of you =)

you have to know the consequences of what you do

2010-04-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

You have to know the consequences of what you do.

I totally agreed with this. THINK BEFORE YOU DO! nowadays, people like to do things without thinking. I don't understand their purpose of doing it, like insane? I don't know. Don't make break up like dying okay? Not that dead yet.

Well, i know. This post sounds a bit of sarcastic. I'm sorry if i did.

Daddy taught me something. Everyone have their own responsibility, do what you should and what you can.

friends

2010-04-16T06:36:00.000-07:00

I used to think about the things that had happened previously when i'm bored, sitting here and look around, i start to recall everything that i've gone through. I realized that time pass real fast, like everything has just happened yesterday.

Every scenes start to appear in my mind, when i was a baby, when i was a little girl, when i was in primary school, then to secondary school, and soon another stage of life begins. I'm 17+ now, i've experienced my 17 years of life, and 11 years of primary + secondary school life. Add up with kindergarten, 14 years. Tell you what, i had 3 years of kindergarten life, I've been sent to kindergarten when i was 4 years old. cool huh?

Soon, i'm going to university, how will my life be?

I couldn't imagine how will it be, with all the new faces, new environment and new stuff, will i still remain the same like before? I'm afraid.

No, i got to change before things or peoples change me.

Then, how about the people that i knew for years? My friends. We can't be like before, always stick together, eat together, play together, laugh together or cry together. we're walking into another phase of life by our own. Everything starts to change. We couldn't meet each other everyday, couldn't play, eat, laugh or cry together. We will have our own life by then.

Can i really get use to the new life?

Will everybody change in time? will we still smile to each other when we meet on a street someday? or we will just ignore each other like stranger? (i'll shoot you if you do!)

all in this together

never miss her out

We got our own way, nothing can change it. We can't turn back the time or stop the time from moving. Take it.

As you know, if everything goes smooth and nice in my foundation, i'll be leaving to Kampar next year for my degree course. I'm afraid, i'll have to face another challenge.

So many things come and goes, stay tough. We can't stop things from coming, stand and take it.

stand still

xoxo

Natalie

how lucky we are

2010-04-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

I was so impressed after reading Penn's blog, unbelievable! I never know this kind of thing exist. How lucky you are, Natalie Kock?

http://www.theblindproject.com/

click TRUTH to read the story

Human nowadays, really....i don't know what to say. Selfish? No! selfish can't fully describe those bitchy peoples! They aren't human! People like them should be chopped and thrown into the sea to feed the lovely sharks! Those idiot traffickers! shame on you! How can they do this to those innocent children? Have you ever think, what if your children been treated in the same way someday?

And those parent who sold their children for money, what are they thinking? do they know what are they doing? how can they do that?

They don't have human nature. They won't feel anything.

Stop human trafficking.

I'm sorry if i'm being harsh, but i can't stop myself from throwing all this out! they're too cruel.

Love the people around you. Live with love.

memories

2010-04-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

Reading the old conversations again. :) Smiles on my face

You might think that i'm crazy because i copied every messages of you and me on the papers.

before sleep

F : good nite. miss you

G : good night. love you. muackz!

I never know i'll press that key on that night, i was totally down. forgive me.

I never know i'll get it this afternoon. I was surprised when i look at it. I thought it will be ignore like before, but it's not.

In my heart you are the only.

forever never come

2010-04-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

idied

We're in white, white long sleeve shirt and pants, white dress.

Walking on the beach with bare foot, hand in hand, holding tight.

Sunset, listening to the sound of the wave patting the stones, seeing the birds flying up high the orange and blue sky, the wind touches my face.

We stop. You hug me from the back and softly you whisper, " I love you, we'll last forever."

I smile and closed my eyes.

Forever never come.

Forever

xoxo

Natalie

he's gone and leaving me alone

2010-04-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

A wave of magic stick, i'm in a grand ballroom, standing at the middle of the dancing pit. Men in tuxedo, and ladies in dress, holding wineglass in hand. I tried to figure out where i am, it was strange.

In a flash of light, everything spins. Someone grab my hand, and i'm dancing. i was blur with the view in front of me. I shake it off, stunned.

This was the most beautiful face that i ever seen. Smooth face, angelical formation. The stiff nose and the big blue eyes.

My hand in him, he touches my waist, slowly lead me. It was the longest dance that i ever had. Everyone tend to look at us, ladies murmured with their eyes staring, men clapping their hands.

We smile.

The music stop and his image become vague, slowly turn into ashes. i tried to catch, but i caught nothing.

I search for him everywhere but he doesn't exist.

He's gone and leaving me alone.

Cinderella

xoxo

Natalie

once a week, i want it to maintain

2010-04-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

We're still in contact. I'm glad that we're still keeping in touch, you still care about me. You still care about my health, you still wanna know whether i eaten my breakfast, lunch, dinner or not, you still wanna know which college i'm going, which course i'm taking.

But i do wonder, is that still important to you ?

in a mess

Once a week, i hope it to maintain. I love to read your message. i felt warm after reading your text.

I shouldn't dream for more. It's more than enough.

Still keeping every messages. Stupid huh ?

It might be useless to you, but to me, it's very important.

I'll make you mine.

wanna see what i've got?

2010-04-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

Wanna see what we've got ?

yes, they are my beloved WESTLIFE!

Okay, i love them! WESTLIFE! Found this picture few days ago, don't you think it's cute?

Went to Pavilion with Nic today, had our lunch at FoodRepublic and WongKok with LeeYeng (cousin).

okay, i'msorry. 'cause i'm toocasual (fat hor?)

i'm holding Nic's bag, not MINE

Somebody please help, i'm bored.

new start

2010-04-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

hurray! i really hope that time can fly faster, i really can't wait for school to start. Felt so jealous to those peoples who already schooling.

I've received the letter from Utar, and i'm going to school on the 24th of May!

i'mnerd

Orientation day is on the 24th of May, and all students are compulsary to attend. Can't wait, can't wait!

Below are the subjects that i'll be studying for the first semester.

Principles of Economics --------------- something new to me :)
Financial Accounting ------------------ =.=
Basic English -------------------------- i love it ! :)
Critical Thinking ---------------------- interesting ?
General Mathematics 1 --------------- as you know, i don't really like Mathematics >.<

Anyhow, all are new to me. Give it a try ! will work really hard for it! :)

I'm trying to get all the books from Nic.

Don't know why am i so excited for it, have a sudden unknown spirit to go to school. Hopefully this spirit will last forever!

I'm coming to you!

random random

2010-03-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

Kristen Stewart

Kristen again, i'm in love with her these days, don't ask me why, 'cause i also don't know. :)

I was surprised today when i saw someone, and i thought you were there too, but as i walk near, that's not you.

-you taught to see the better truth, about yourself and me too-

Earth hour, i took part ! Switch all the light in my living room when i'm out for dinner, more than one hour ! love the earth please !

Nothing much to write, have no idea with what to write.

Will do better. :) forgive me

outing

2010-03-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

Was a great day, had fun with my lovely babies ! :)
When was the last time we went to Karaoke ? Long long time ago...

sukyie, natalie, jing, jiamin, yuhwen

my long last friend

Thanks to you guys for giving me a great day ! i'm really enjoying it, and now, i got sore throat !

After our Karaoke session, walk around and tried on Snowflakes. I like it ! yum yum ~

Still more to come ? Karaoke sessions ? more and more outing? YEA ! Still more to come !
Should play and enjoy til the max before everyone's school start !

blank

2010-03-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

Kristen Stewart

What do you think about this photo ? I'm in love with it when i first saw it in a magazine.

Don't know what to blog, just doing a simple update so that my blog is not dead. =p

Currently working in MSIG, so far so good, get used to it, and everyone nice and friendly, and someone is getting funny and funny !

My life, good also. Slowly, i don't think much about the past anymore, and starting to plan my future. Still waiting for the notice from UTAR, i registered that day, and been informed to wait for the notice.

Is changing myself to be a better one, and looking forward instead of looking back. Working very hard for it !

A special THANKS to those peoples who look down upon me or peoples who hate me, you guys motivated me. Keep up the hard work ! =)

I find myself weird these days, i don't know why, i can't stop laughing after i ate Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate, like crazy fellow. But i like that feel, i'm happy all.

xx chocolate xx

I can see smiles on my face everytime i look into the mirror even though i'm not smiling. It's a good sign right ?

-I won't fall for you again, because now is your turn to fall for me-

will make a nicer post the next time i update my blog, i always have the feel to update when i'm in work, but when i'm home, all the feeling gone.

Justsimplewilldo. Bye, take care !

out with sukyie

2010-03-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Forget about the not so great minutes when i'm out with Sookyee, i bet she felt that too. Well, just forget about it. I thought mine was bad, but after i attended it today, it's even worst. I'm not going to talk about it anymore.

After the few not so great minutes, Sookyee and i went to walk around and head to Sushi King. Was having fun there, after that, we head to some shop to hunt for clothes. walk into many shops, seemingly, Sookyee don't really like the clothes in those shops and so we went to Kitchen 'cause she said the clothes there is quite nice, and so we step in to Kitchen. Was looking for long sleeve t-shirt, and we both saw one which is nice, and of course we tried it. At last, Sookyee bought the green one and i bought the black one.

the black one (prefer this)

the green one

Having a great time with Sookyee, and i almost pull her pants down when we're going up the escalator. muahaha..sorry la, who ask you to run away. lol..xD

I'm gonna date you again next week ! with jing too ! muahaha..Remember Me !

i can make it right !

2010-03-16T00:45:00.000-07:00

" I know that we could make it right, it's gonna take a little time"

Things get right in time, time will always make everything right for us.
Seriously need time to play down.

i'mstrong?

There are so many things stuck in my head and i can't figure out. Confusion and irritation come together to attack me.

What will you do when you're in this kind of situation ?
I'm trying to think positively, so that everything can be on the right track.

Can i stand this ?

can you just stay with your decision?

2010-03-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

oh c'mon ! I'm confused. I don't know what to choose and where to go. I thought i already decided everything, but today, i went to Kampar 'cause have to send Nic back, and we shop at Tesco. I realized that the life there's really different with here. I'm afraid that i can't get use to it. The people over there is really different from the people in KL, and everything over there is totally different with here. Compare Kampar with KL, i will choose KL.

I don't know how to describe the people and life over there. I told Mommy about it, and she told me that this is very normal because Kampar is a small town, and their life style is different from us. We live in KL, all modern, but they are in small town, the people there doesn't like people in KL. I'm not saying that they're not modern or something, but i can see there's different between us live in KL, and them live in Kampar. But, i love the environment of the school, is a very good place for study.

whatdoyouthink?

I'm struggling. Go or not ?

I'm sure that i'll be going to Utar. Will never change my mind again, but what i worry is...my course. I've been looking at Utar's website for days..still i've no idea. And i told Auntie that i've choosed Banking and Finance. (not really interested about it)

Well, will be starting my study in May for foundation in Art. Decided. One year, and i'm not leaving to Kampar so soon. I'll be here for one year, and then.....decide later. struggling !

How i wish i can just 'tik tak toe' to choose the course, so that i no need to be so vexed. But, it's my future, don't play a fool.

' take your time to think about it.' that's what you told me.

don't break my limit

2010-03-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

Everyone have thier own limitation, and once you broke it, then you have to undertake the consequences.

i'llworkforit

You may give opinion, but don't hurt people's feeling. Mind your words and also please consider people's feeling.

I hate people ridicule me or look down upon me. Now that you pissed me off, i'll make you regret for look down on me !

I promise i will do better ! Better than you are ! I will make you feel proud of me ! and you will have to pull back what you've said.

You may laugh at me now, just laugh at me as many time as you can, 'cause you will never have the chance to laugh at me anymore !

Now doesn't mean forever ! I'm not good at this moment, doesn't mean that i'm bad forever !

I'll do !

You think that i can't do, then i'll do it and prove it to you ! Turn impossible to possible !

confusing

2010-03-12T07:18:00.000-08:00

Is confused ! Is confusing with my career.

After getting my SPM result, Yes! i do happy and felt more relax! but another problem appear. I don't know what course to choose. I know i have to study foundation for one year first, but now..i don't even know what to take. Science or Art ? My science subjects not very good and yet i hate figures !
If i choose Science, someone will really laugh at me, and i'm afraid that i can't do well. If i choose Art, will be all figures, i don't have any interest in it !

Ish ! What can i do now ? How i wish you are here, you will always listen to me, and give me opinion and help me to figure things out. Now that i have to do it all alone.

stupididiot

I need somebody help !

confuse ! I still have time, next week will go to Utar open day, and i will ask evrything clearly and decide what i want.

Time is gold !

shall we start all over again?

2010-03-11T07:15:00.000-08:00

Heartsick.

Is thinking about you, and you know what ? I miss you. I have so many things to tell and ask, i wanna talk to you. I wanna see you right now ! I can feel my heart ache. It's not a good feeling. I hate feeling like this, so helpless and loveless.

Almost a month, and what i have in my mind now is still all about you. Why ? Why you make it happen ? You shouldn't have do that to me, until today i still can't accept the true. Everytime you texted me, i confused once, and make me love you even more ! I don't want that !

Shall we start all over again ?

I wish we can start all over again, like last time, our sweet sweet time. Was my best memories. I want nobody but you !

if we never end, 23feb2010 will be our 8 months

Will you come back to me ? start all over again?

You shouldn't have walk away, when i looking like that.

My life was sucks without you.

I always try to make myself happy, pretend to be happy in front of peoples. Think of those stupid things, and say stupid things in front of peoples to hide my sadness. It makes me so pain ! It's always hard to hide.

I'm still always waiting for your message everyday, will smile stupidly when i saw your message. Kept all the messages and read it over and over again. I said i don't love you, are all lies.

is there any hope beyond the pain ? or continue to pain until it heal ?....a question without answer.

My heart has been locked. The entrance of my heart has been blocked.

I thought no one can enter, but..i never know that you've entered and i locked you inside.

Will you give me a second glance ?

future

2010-03-11T00:17:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's my big day today. 11 of March 2010, a day that nerved me up ! Spm result is out.

Early in te morning went to school, wait for almost an hour, finally..lined up to take the result. Was extremely scare and worry at that moment, keep praying to God, and hoping that i won't fail any of the subjects. God bless me ! Once i sat down in front of Pn. Syakila, she look at my result, and say 'ok la..no fail.' woooshhh~! I was like..feel like screaming ! and i look at it...Arhhhh!!!! It's real ! I'm so happy about it, although it's not straight A (i don't dream), but i'm satisfied !

Well, maybe you will think that what's so happy with a result without all A ? I know who i am, and i know myself, my own level. I'm not those clever people or genius. I tried my best, and that's what i have after working hard (or not really hard) for days( or weeks or months). It's all out of my expectation, and i'm satisfied !

thestupidone

Worth ! Congrad to my friends who have many A or Straight A ! Congratulation !!
Loh Sook Yee, you owe me doughnut !!!! J.CO !!!!

I'm going to college ! Futher study ! yesh!

You are the first one who texted me and ask me about my result. Thanks to you because you are the one who make me study at that time, and also the one who taught me ! Thank you ! (you know who you are)

Not only you, i wanna give a special Thanks to all my friends who help me out during our exam time or before exam. My friends who taught me, and help me to solve Mathematics and other subjects's problems. Thanks to them !

Ngek..ngek..ngek..be ready ! Recharge myself, prepare myself. Should have build up my confident ! Be more confident in future no matter in what way. STUDY ! I'm going to start schooling again on 31 May 2010 !

Gonna be more hardworking in future.

Stand still when wind is blowing strongly.

Daniel Wu or Robert Pattinson

2010-03-06T08:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's Saturday again. Went out with the friends and watched a movie 'Hot Summer Days', which is quite nice. I love it, especially Daniel Wu's part ! He's just so hot ! Crazed in the cinema.

Love Daniel Wu so much !

After movie, we walk around and went to look for our lovely Penn ! She's working in Pavilion Parkson.

Later on, went to Times to buy book. And i bought The Time Traveler's Wife. Lena introduce this book to me, it's a love story. I will slowly enjoy it.

Yea ! Breaking Dawn is ended. Means my Twilight saga is over ! But, i'm still having a high fever of Twilight saga. help me ! >.<

Ok ! Thanks to Loh Sook Yee who tell me the news ! Robert Pattinson new movie, Remember Me. I'm going to craze for it soon, not soon..i'm already crazed to it ! Watched it's trailers, it's a love and romance movie, and i love Robert Pattinson ! His name in the movie is Tyler Hawkins. He look so cute in that movie !

Robert Pattinson

Jing asked me a question, want me to choose one between Daniel Wu and Robert Pattinson. *aheem..I'm greedy, i want both ! Nescafe also got 3 in 1, so..they are 2 in 1. Two in one heart ! Two is better than one !

stand up and stop crying

2010-02-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

Make me curious, make me confused, make me insane. This isn't right.

Why you care ?

When we know something isn't on the right track, we should correct it immediately so that we won't go onto the wrong way. We should know that, sometimes keep going isn't the best choice.

Try to figure it out, something better always waiting for you.

Turn around, doesn's mean that we're going backward. Looking back, you will find things different.

Stand up and stop crying. Shouldn't let yourself shed a tear for worthless. Smile for the worth and never cry.

People who worth, won't let you cry.

不要为了一些不值得的人而哭，值得的不会让你哭。

哭，也因为开心而哭。

simple.simply.easy

2010-02-25T07:56:00.000-08:00

Simple . Simply . Easy
We should apply this three words in our daily life. It could make our life better.
Sometimes, there are some complicate in our life, but if you take it Simple, Simply and Easy, the complicate wouldn't be complicate anymore.
Live strong ! Stay tough !
Happy after that !

me, work

2010-02-25T06:54:00.000-08:00

nataliecullen

I'm working. Can't believe what i'm saying? *aheem* clearing throat..Yes! Natalie's working ! muahaha..

The first job in my life, as a receptionist in MSIG. It's an Insurans company. Well, just way too nice. No hard work, just greeting and smiling and sometime intercoming. Easy, and am enjoying much ! Peoples there are nice, teach me lot of things and i learnt a lot. ^^ but i'll be there only for two months, after that i'll be rotting at home again.

I'm so into Edward Cullen! duh...'Cause everyday when i'm in work, i'll be flipping on my Breaking Dawn, and i almost scream out lout when i read til somewhere extreme!! Especially Edward and Bella. Urgh! I wanna boyfriend like Edward ! Just love him so muccchh!!

Wonder why i can still flip through my book when i'm in work? That's an order from my boss. lol..since i have nothing to do, so she and he encouraged me to bring books to read, and so i did.

I wanna go into the Vampire world ! I want Edward Cullen !!! ouch!

Do you know that Vampire have 25 pairs of chromosomes? That's what Carlisle told Jacob. And Jacob have 24. Werewolf.
Just sound so crazy in it, did i ?
That's the only thing that i do to burn off my time in the office.
I love my job !

the gathering

2010-02-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

This will be all about our gathering on 12.02.2010. Our small gathering with some of the primary school classmate, the 6U-ians.

Well, although not all can attend to this gathering, but..we still had fun ! ya, like the crazy's ! Met with Jim Lau, Kah Chun, Yip Quan, Kum Hoh, Hui Yee, Chu Xing, Jian Hao and the one i loved most and i always met, Sukyie !

Wanted to upload those photo that we took that day, but this stupid blogger don't let me to do it. Urgh! hate it when i cant't do the things that i wanted. Grrr...

Without photo, this post seem so useless..can't see the fun at all.

what about now

2010-02-24T05:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, i know i've abandoned my blog for quite a long time. Let's do some catch up ! Phew~

Let's talk about my 2010 CNY. Well, considered a boring CNY to me. Not having lot of fun at Granny's, maybe all grew up, all mature. Doesn't play as crazy as last time. Just sitting and watching TV over there. Nothing much to do

But, when it turn to be at home, wow ! That's amazing ! My house was a Karaoke, Cinema and Casino during the one week CNY. Dad was crazy with us ! He looks like those small kid when playing with us ! cute weh..~

Visited to Dad's friends house...Hunted for ang pau..hurray!

My ang pau is lesser than the previous year..

Don't feel like talking much on my CNY anymore, the mood gone.

So, here's a little catch up about the CNY.

changes

2010-02-10T09:06:00.000-08:00

I want changes ! I need to change, Natalie want to change !
This time is my mindset.
I don't wanna live like this anymore, i obsessed with something which i knew that it won't happen. I seriously hate this kind of life. It's so lifeless, so not my type. Know la, Capricorns are melancholy or heavyhearted, but..not that always. Can i just live for myself ? Happy for myself?
I should just forget about everything, everything that i obsessed at ! It pissed me off!

Can i have a new life ?
Few more days to Chinese New Year, new year, new life ! Should start something new.
Okay, few more days to Chinese New Year, where my new life begin.

Changes are needed in life, so that we're always moving forward and improving ourself to be better.

Call me, Miss Happy ! I wanna smile everyday, happy everyday in my new life. No sad, no tears.
All happily and crazily ! yeah..that's what i want. No more emo emo, all amo amo !

Happy Natalie, smile =)
Be confident to myself. No worry, be happy.
Stressfree !

Live without worry, and always be happy.
Turn every uneasy thing to easy. Turn impossible to possible.

Natalie's happy after all...=) smile with your heart !

only love can say

2010-02-09T04:56:00.000-08:00

Few more days to Valentine's day and also Chinese New Year. ^^

Valentine's day, at first, i really thought that this year my Valentine's day will be different than the previous year, i was looking forward to it, but who knows, things suddenly changed, and it make everything to be different. Like back to the start when i was alone, and now i'm still alone. Alone for this Valentine's day. I really thought that we can celebrate our first Valentine's day together. I used to imagine how will our Valentine's day be and what we do on this day.

But now, everything became ashes.

We're like friend now, you find me to chat, introduce game to me, make funs. There's like no awkwardness between us. Good thing! I can't bare with those awkwardness, luckily, there's non of it.

I know, i still love you. Maybe...slowly i will get used to it, because sometimes, i really still not accustom to it, without you. Slowly...it take times...
I still keep my mind, i will wait.

You're telling me you're so confused, You can't make up your mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But I believe for you and me The sun will shine one day
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've tried my best to make you see There's hope beyond the pain
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's something only love can do
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Above are the lyric of Only love. I really love it..so, i post it out.

"Will you come back to me ?"

Natalie have to be alone this Valentine's day, but nevermind, because on that day, is the first day of Chinese New Year !

happiness lies in contentment

2010-02-07T09:09:00.000-08:00

It's 0111, and i'm still awake. Didn't sleep well this few days, and i'm so emo these days..what happen to me ? Where's the Natalie that always smile ? Gone?
I don't know what happen to me that make me emo, but now, it's the time for me to wake up, stay away from emo. I'm not emo at last ! =p wake up weh !
I guess, i'm obsessed with something. But now..no more !

We must to be content with what we has had.
Seriously, we must to be content with what we has had. We must love the people around us.
You will never know what's going to happen the next, appreciate them and love them. You will
regret once you've lost them. The appreciation in us is very important. We shall love and appreciate what He gave us in life.

Sometimes, i'm not content with my life. Because i think that my life is bad, i don't have good luck. But, when i look at myself in the other way round, i compare myself with other people, i found out that, i'm the lucky one. I'm lucky because He give me a happy family, a sweet family, a family who love me more then themself. I'm lucky because i'm beloved, and i'm lucky because i have what i want. My life isn't miserable like what i think, it's not miserable at all and yet, i'm blessed !

Sometimes, we, people tend to compare ourself with the people who are rich, people who wear branded, people who drive nice car. And then we will want to be like them, we want to wear branded, we want to drive nice car, but at the end you can't get any. And so, you will start to blame yourself, your family, and God, for not giving you what the rich people have. You will start to think that you're unlucky.
But, have you ever compare yourself with the people who are more unlucky than you ? Never!

Try to think the other way round, it will make your life better, and you will love yourself more than before. Be content with what you has had.
No one is perfect in life, but if we think that we are perfect, then you are perfect !

知足常乐！Happiness lies in contentment!

random

2010-02-05T08:49:00.000-08:00

It's 0051 now, and i'm still here blogging. ngek..ngek..insonmia again. Can't sleep well..
My life was good so far, sleeping late and waking up sometimes late and sometimes early..still good. Doing the same thing everyday and gaining weight..

Chinese New Year is around the corner, have you bought all your new cloths or prepared everything for this day ? I just cant wait for it, my 2010 Chinese New Year will be fun ! xD Will make it fun !
I can't wait to go visit my friends, uncles, aunties...Ang paos ! xD

I feel so bored, anyone help me please? My eye still can't close yet, what to do ?

Hanging out with Sukyie and Jing later, excited ! I don't care, i wanna take lots and lots of photo with you two ! No excuse ! =p long time didnt see them, missing them so much. And i start to miss my secondary school life. Feel like studying now. xD..crazy !

Well, planning to have a gathering during CNY, for the primary school friends. Hopefully this time get to see all of them. Miss them much ! Especially the few of them which is close with me ! xD..

Random update. Boring day and night.
Sleep with the music on ! ^^ ciao~!

i'm fine

2010-02-02T06:12:00.000-08:00

That's something that i've predicted happened. I don't feel surprise at all after that incident happened to me. Take it easy, maybe that's what God want me to go through in my life. Learnt to give and take, forgive and forget. I'm happy that we still can chat like normal friend, that's what i want, and thank God for blessing.

We must understand that there's many thing that we need to go through in life, we have to be optimist in everything. Learn to work things out in peace. We growth and we experience. That's life. Accept what's coming to you. Make your life happy and easy.

Changes ! xoxo
Seriously, i'm changing and growing ! xD
Changed a lot after my SPM and 2009. Keep changing and changing. I can see the result of my hardwork ! *-* maybe i really growth..

I need outing ! I wanna meet my friends. I miss Sook, i miss jing, i miss penn, i miss lea and lot more i miss.
I don't care, i will surely take lot of photo with you guys the next time i see you guys. No excuses. ^^ ngek ngek..

blah..i've been crapping so much, but myself don't understand what am i talking about. >.<

ciaoz ! it's a boring night to me. @@

finally you said it out

2010-02-01T09:01:00.000-08:00

1 of February 2010, i will remember this day, because it will be a memorable day to me.
Finally, you told me your truth feeling. Thank you.

Being with you for the 7 months and 9 days, is really a very nice dream to me. From the day you asked me to be your girlfriend, i already knew that, my sweet dream won't last long. I will still wake up someday. But, i'm happy that i have a very sweet and nice dream for 7 months and 9 days.
Thank you for loving me in this 7 months and 9 days, i appreciate it a lot.

It's all my fault, i'm sorry for everything. I'm silly, i'm not good enough and i'm not understanding enough to you. I should have be better, but i fail to do that, and so i fail to deserve you love.
Actually, i already sensed that our love is fading few months ago, but i still hold on it and told myself that it's just a hallucination, that's not true. But, finally i know, what i sensed is right. It's not hallucination, that's reality.

You apology and saying that is your fault and you're not good enough. NO! That's not. It's not your fault and you're very good. It's mine and i'm not good enough. I'm the one who have to apology.

You said that you tried to change your mindset to love me, thank you. Thank you for forcing yourself to love me. I know it's hard to love someone that you don't really love.

You said you do love me before, i'm happy to know it. Thank you!

I really happy that you tell me the truth, although at first i was like, what the hell, you dumped me?, but after a few minutes, i realized that i don't feel sad but i have a little bit of happy. Because you're going to have a better one or maybe your soul mate. Because i know you're going to be happy afterwards.

I know myself, i'm not good. I having lots of problem which will never cure, if our relationship continue, it will be so unfair to you.
Now, you leave me, maybe it's something good to you.

I won't blame you, because i already know that it won't last long.

Maybe letting go is another kind of love. So, i don't argue to pull back, i let it go. Not that i give up, is just that, what i want is him to be happy, and we will still be happy, and i don't want we end up with war. Let it peace. Happy ending !

And now, i can tell the whole world that my ex-boyfriend is Daniel Wong Zi Xiang. Proud of it ! =p he's my first love.
i'm sorry if you doesn't want to let anyone know that i'm your ex-girlfriend. I just feel like telling.

We broke up in peace. ^^
23-6-2009 ------1-2-2010
in the memory of me

I still love you.
I believe that if it's mine, it will come back to me someday.
Know that you're sailing soon, Good Luck and All The Best. Take care ^^God bless you.

Thank you for everything.
love you