Hi (:
Natalie
Capricorn. Loud, and crazy. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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moody.. at 4:19 AM

Today, absent for school. Went to see doctor, and i have to cut down all my favourite food. No more nice food for me anymore ! *bye...
And went out to meet you..sorry cause today i'm moody and tired. I don't know why i feel down today..sad~
First time we take photo together, and i'm happy with that. You know why i want the photo? I want it as a memory..next time when i cant see you, i still can have a look with the photo.
You're leaving...and what am i going to be? lonely...loveless..
The next time i see you, i wanna do all the thing that couple do!
I'll do my promise! What i've promised you today, i'll do. Trust me!
*next week onwards, you are only allowed to online on Friday and Saturday. Two hours a day.

By the way, we are in the 7th days..

I wanna hold you tight,
I wanna hug you..
I wanna love you..

Labels: the 7th day..

happy birthday to nellie kock at 3:17 AM

Happy Birthday !

Labels: happy birthday nellie

I should admit but i don't at 1:05 AM

I think, i know what's mean by jealous. Not that jealous people having branded bags or any other things. That's not what jealous i meant.
When i heard you said that you wanna go out with her, aow! you know how i feel ? scare..
I believe you..go enjoy yourself.
I think every girl sure will jealous with this..
and now i know what jealous is...
The feeling is so horrible..i hate this feelings..freak me up !
Jealousy..go away!...ish!

Labels: just admit

Michael Jackson RIP at 7:59 AM

'The King of Pop', Michael Jackson pass away on 26 of June 2009.

Labels: michael jackson will be the legend

shhh... at 7:12 AM

It's been a while, when i'm with you. I still cant believe that, though.
I really don't know what to do with you, i don't know how to entertaint you, i don't know jokes, and i don't know what to do to you. Baby, sorry..forgive me.
I always did what you ask me to. I promise, i always do what you want me to do.

When i saw you i was afraid to talk to you...
when i talked to you i was afraid to hold you...
When i hold you i was afraid to love you..
Now that i love you i'm afraid to lose you.

Labels: love you

don't challenge me at 3:22 AM

Is that really difficult for you guys to attend the meeting? If you're not planning to attend, please don't come. It's doesn't matter, the attendance will be just a 0. Is ok, i think you guys already have a lot of this 0 ?

I hate cheating ! And i think you've cheated on a wrong person, do you think i didn't realize that you two guys never come back after you walk out of the class? Excuse me, i'm there, okay? and somemore, you guys leave the class without telling the teacher ..even though the teacher is not there at that moment, but..the president is still there! sitting there alive, not dead yet..please inform your president! The most ridiculous was, you dare to ask me can you sign for your friends who did not attend to the meeting? are you nuts? Stop asking me this kind of question.

I've told teacher about this, and i don't know what teacher will do, maybe teacher will just ignore it, because the teacher is too kind, but i'm not ! For your information, you guys had broke my limit ! I hate cheating, so if you wanna cheat on me, please make sure you're smart enough to cheat me ! If you're planning to do that again, is okay. I will just mark the attandance as 0 . That's all ! What for i do so many things? inform teacehr and all that..wasting my time..

If you really do that again, you will be out of the club. Don't try to cheat on me anymore.
If i've said something harsh, please forgive me, i just can't control myself, because i got very pissed off about this.

People who did wrong won't admit that they're wrong, they will pretend nothing.
But for me, if you're wrong, you're wrong forever! No turning back !

They don't know if get caught by the teacher who incharge on this, they will be giving a purnishment. I don't care what purnishment you guys will get, but do you know that, the teacher of the club and the president will get scold or purnish also? Please think before you do anything!
God give us a brain to think which is right and which is wrong, and not for you to play cheat ! Please! I'm not that good,so don't try to cheat me.
Don't expect me to believe you again. Never!
I can be very good to you, but can you please be good to me also?

We're trying so hard to create the water rocket, and what you guys do? nothing! Teacher provide us the bottles, double-sided tape and all the things, but you guys never appreciate it.

Let it be, i don't feel like wanna talk much on this anymore. Just warn you guys, don't do that again !

Labels: dont cheat me

i shouldnt say that at 6:24 AM

I know i shouldn't said that. Because i don't want anything to happen, and i'm a coward ! I know ! A stupid coward. I don't dare to tell you how i feel again, i scare to get hurt!
I know the answer that you told me is not true, i don't think that's the truth, but i choose to believe you. When you ask me who i don't wanna live without, i told you the true, coz i don't wanna to bluf you.
Another three weeks, you're leaving.
I did that again! Again ! I hate myself! Why you ask me? and why i answer you ? The feeling is so...sad? hurt? embarrassing? i dunno !! You wanna know the true, okay. I tell you, yes, i like you ! and i know what's your answer, you don't need to explain or say anything, because i don't want to listen to the same answer again ! It's really hurting me! you know? I don't want to suffer for that again ! I can still remember what you said last time, it's really hurting me so much !
I don't know what am i doing, just hate myself and regret for telling you!
I'm very sure how you feel.
I just don't wanna to listen to the answer again, i don't wanna face the true. You can call me coward ! It's up to you ! I'm a COWARD !
I'll make myself ready to listen to the explanation that you wanna do, i'll prepare for it, so that i won't get hurt so much!

我是胆小鬼，我不敢再一次面对你的答案，因为我在很早以前就知道了！我不想在伤害我自己。那种伤心的感觉，是非常难受的，你知道吗？
我没有勇气再告诉你，因为我不想再一次的听会同一个答案。在一开始，我就不应该喜欢你，我是个笨蛋！一个大笨蛋！
我讨厌我自己，我恨我自己！
对不起，如果爱你，让你觉得心烦，那么我会假装不爱你。。
你快离开了，我不想有任何事情发生，因为我要珍惜和你在一起的最后的三个星期。。（不是恋爱那种哦）
三年，不是很久啊，等就等！
我不想你觉得我很烦，所以每次都不敢找你。。
我很想知道你的答案，但却不敢面对，我很本对吧？你不需要解释，我已经很清楚，和明白了。。
会做好心理准备接受你的解释的。。

Labels: I'm a coward

can't believe that at 8:25 AM

I really cant believe that i will saw you on your birthday ! Thank god for letting me to see you once. Before that, i keep on imagining how you look like after coming back from NS, always thinking of that. Really Thank to god for letting me to see him.

I really can't believe that my friends will saw you too, unbelievable. Seriously, i miss you.

18 of June, your birthday. I tried my best not to sleep at night just wanted to be the first person to wish you, but..too bad, i failed to do that. I really don't know what can i do for you, i always giving you problems..and i didnt even do anything for you.
Happy birthday ! Bought present for your birthday, but don't know when i can give it to you.

There's nothing i can do for you...only a HAPPY BIRTHDAY !
I think this will be the last birthday that i can be with you..
you will be back after three years...i'll wait..

Labels: Happy birthday

lyrics {style-xing fu de qi dian at 3:22 AM

style -幸福的起点

传说在恋人们心和心之间
系着一条叫感情的线
等两个人的距离越来越远
那份纠缠却紧紧相连
不眠的咖啡融化寂寞的夜
少了酒精我却有点醉
这里空荡的气味让人心碎
人情之间看不到坚决
花开在春天幸福的起点
擦肩过的人悄悄传递着爱恋
在你离开以前请再看一眼
有没有什么值得留恋
昏黄的街灯陪着我的爱情
丢弃回忆藏不住伤心
就像是已过期的黑白电影
不知何日再重新上演
花开在春天幸福的起点
擦肩过的人悄悄传递着爱恋
在你离开以前请再看一眼
有没有什么值得留恋
花开在春天幸福的起点
擦肩过的人悄悄传递着爱恋
幸福来临以前也请你改变
会有个人陪你到终点
也许都不需道歉
这样的错过
是另一个幸福的起点
爱过就永远不会改变

I highlight those phrase that i like in this song. and i'm sorry for the people who dunno chinese.


holiday ended.. at 2:34 AM

School reopen, everything back to normal. Didnt see all the friends for two weeks, sure will have lots of thing to chit-chat. I told penn, sukyie and lea what happen in the holiday, of course, i will tell them about him. As they said, i should be braver and confess again. But, do you think i dare to do that? nonono...i told them i just left one month time to be with you..i wont do that. I just want to enjoy the time that i be with you and i dont hope anything will happen. This thursday will be your birthday, i wish i can celebrate with you...but..i know thats impossible. I bought a card for you, hope you will like it.
School reopen, we wont chat that often.
Everything start to change, i should try to make it as a habit. Maybe this will help me in future.

i start to miss you..


Picnik..good site at 9:23 AM

Since i have nothing to do..so i go to www.picnik.com to edit some photo..I'm really boring..here are some of the edited pictures..not really pro...just simply play it..but..hope you guys will like it too...

Here come some friends..

Labels: feel bored..think of you..

sad or happy? at 6:24 AM

I don't know how to describe my feelings right now. When you tell me that you get into MISC, i felt so happy for you, I've been laughing and smiling the whole day. But when you tell me that you're leaving for 3 years and we cant chat, cant see for 3 years..my heart suddenly pained ! I really don't know what to say, i'm happy that finally you get what you want, but i'm going to lost what i want.

3 years, not a long time and also not a short time, by that time, you are 21 years old and i'm 20. Everything changed!

When you said, you're going to miss me, i said the same thing to you too. I cant feel the happiness when you say you miss me. I'm going to miss you too and i always do. What will happen in three years time? I don't know.

When you last leave for three months, i don't have this feeling because we still can chat every weekend. But now..3 years..can we still chat every weekend?

3 years..36 months , 156 weeks, and 1095 days....what will i be?

I wont ask you :' can you please don't go?', and i cant ask that. I know nothing can stop you, and i'm not anyone to you..i'm not a selfish person. But.."will you come back once a year?" this's what i might ask.

I'm going to miss you for three years..though is not a very long distance, but i know..i'm going miss you..

How hurt when you're missing someone? Do you know how it feel? You cant even ask him/her 'how are you?'..so sad...

Just another month, i can be with you only one more month, you're leaving by next month. I will appreciate the one month that i can still be with you.

As people say, time pass very fast. I hope the three years will pass faster.

I don't know will i cry when the time i say goodbye to you, but i'm sure! I won't be happy on that day. Saying goodbye to you is a hard work for me. I will try my best not to cry infront of you. I'll be waiting for you, no matter what i have to do..i'll wait for you.

You must take care and drink more water. Don't let yourself fall sick. You're easy to get fever, take good care of your health. Always remember what you can take and what you cant. Dont get yourself too tired.

I wish you ALL THE BEST & GOOD LUCK !
May god bless you !

(this post may be continue if i have thing to add, coz now i really cant think about anything. i just feel down)

Labels: i'll be waiting for you

song lyrics-HEAL~westlife at 7:02 AM

HEAL-WESTLIFE

Even though you’re near me
I need you far away
To be an ocean
To build another wave
I’ll be broken and i know it
But i just can’t seem to find Another way
Though you want to
Though you try to
You can’t stop the rain
For the first time
It’s not you
Who can heal me
I need some distance
To find another road
It’s not so easy
Sorrow’s such a heavy load
I’ll be broken and i’ll show it
But i’m gonna have to live
Without you here

Chorus

Poets say as time decays
Broken souls will mend
But june will come around again
So my sorrow’s gonna end
But it’s not you
Who’ll heal me
But it’s not you
Heal me

the highlight quote is what i say in my heart


Stupid say nonsense at 6:29 AM

I dunno whether it's right or wrong. I just confused, is that really good to both of us? We have nothing to chat about anymore. You didnt say it out, but i can feel it. Really nothing more. Everytime we talk about the same thing, should i stop? I dunno it's right or wrong? It' s that good to both of us? I'm wasting your time and your credit. I know that, and actually you dont need to do that, what promise and all those things, it's just something used to bluf a kid. I dont need that, maybe. I'm very sure what will happen to us in future. You are good, and i felt guilty you know. I felt guilty when you do those things. You really dont need to do that.
I'm confused to myself, what am i thinking about. What i doing now is correct or not? Yes, i felt happy every weekend, but how about you? Are you happy also? I feel like i'm forcing you ! NO!!! I'm not. And i dont want it to happen. You taught me many things and i learn many things.
I dont think what i'm doing is right! dont you? just like what i say before, you really dont need to do that. I'm a volunteer but you're not ! I just need one answer, do you happy? Tell me the truth. You dont need to do the things that you're unwilling to..
I dont wanna be selfish ! and i'm not a selfish person !
I'm stupid! No matter in study or in anything else, I'm STUPID !
I just cant figure it out. Am i really happy also? Is this the true happiness i'm having? I'm a nerd!I'M A STUPID FELLOW ! Idiot! baga!
I promise i will do well in my study !

Labels: A stupid make promise

back at 6:20 AM

I'm back from Kampar. wow! It's a nice trip, i felt happy with it. I stay in Grand Kampar hotel for only one night, honestly, i'm not sacrified! The room is so spacious! omg! i love it! (i've capture some photo and it will be post up later). I love the place very very much ! I keep on yelling that i dont wanna go home!!! too bad, only stay for one night. The room is fantastic. But..the food..omg! my stomach not feeling well after i ate the food. Not good...
I swim ! It's so nice to swim in the pool, the water is so clean ! I love it ! Hope to stay for few more days...but too bad...i enjoy my life over there.
Dad was saying that we wont go Kampar to visit my sister that often anymore. Well, is something good to Nic, let her be independent.

Labels: independent may be good for you

i just cant wait at 11:10 PM

arhhh! i cant wait anymore ! i want * NEW MOON * , * ECLIPSE *, * BREAKING DAWN *.
I cant be patient anymore ! i just watch the trailer! omg! i want it now ! EDWARD CULLEN is so handsome ! omg! i want ! quick ! Robert Pattinson, you are man!
cant be pateint anymore! ANTICIPATING !


should back to normal at 5:22 PM

It's holiday, i have two weeks holiday, to every student, holiday is a good thing to them. But for me..it's not ! You know what? I feel bored during holiday and my mind is empty, i cant do thing during holiday, even tuition, my mind absence. It's happy because can rest during the holiday, but can you imagine, if you wanted to do something but you dont have mood to do it? It's very torturing! I plan to study in this holiday, but can i do it? I think NO.

Labels: i just cant figure it out

I'm back at 1:11 AM

I'm back from a very sucks camp!!! Honestly, i hate this camp!

Labels: thank you from the bottom of my heart